[Dailydrool] The World According to Norm - Drama Time

[Sandi Wittenberg]

It's me again - Norm!

GOOD GRIEF - Poor Mom is now bald from pulling her hair out over the past 36
hours.  Ya' know, we are scheduled to leave tomorrow morning at 5:00 dark
o'clock on our road trip and so what happens yesterday ???  You won't
believe this!

First of all, Mom gets up and trims all of our toenails, cleans our ears,
brushes our toofers.  Dad goes to breakfast with a bunch of retired
teachers.  The plan is that when he gets home, he will give everybody a
bath.  Sounds like a good plan, huh?  Then, Mom notices that Johnny is
having a personal problem with his Poop Chute; nothing was coming out of the
Poop Chute no matter how hard he tried.  So, Mom calls the vet and tells
them that "he did it again!".  Johnny has a bad habit of eating sticks, then
the sticks get stuck and he has to go to the vet and have the Roto-Rooter
treatment.   So they say to bring him in later in the afternoon.  But Mom
keeps the eyeballs on Johnny and he is looking kind of puny, so Mom calls
the vets and says "We are coming in now."  They say Okey Dokey, so Mom goes
in to put her shoes and socks on.  THEN ALL HECK BREAKS LOSE!  Dad comes in
the door, starts grabbin' his short saying OMG!  OMG!  Mom goes to see what
is going on and Dad collapses on the floor.  Mom goes running (and she
doesn't run very often) and gets Dad's explosion medicine, I think it is
called nitro-something.  Then she gets on the telephone and calls the fire
department.  Wait a minute, Dad's wasn't on fire!  Then she calls Granny Pat
and tells her that she has to come take Johnny to the vet 'coz she had to go
with Dad to the people hospital.  SIRENS!  LOTS OF SIRENS!  AND FLASHING
LIGHTS!  AND 42809842 NICKZILLION PEOPLE!  I was watching this all from the
observation deck in our back yard.  The men put Dad on a bed with wheels and
put him in the ambulance and ZOOMED away!  Mom got us in the house and she
left too.  Granny Pat came and got Johnny and they left.   Mom came home
4230 nickzillion hours later, without Dad and without Johnny.  They both had
to stay in the hospital overnight.  Mom was having a FIT!  She kept saying I
am going on a road trip with or without them!  What do they think they are
doing??  Who do they think they are??  Now I know what RANTING AND RAVING
looks like!

So today didn't start very good.  Mom went to the hospital to see Dad.  She
was still ranting and raving.  She talked to the vet.  She was still ranting
and raving.  She went to the grocery store.  Still ranting and raving.  She
took us over to Granny Pat's for baths.  Still ranting and raving.  Then,
finally, so good news.  Johnny could come home;  he got Roto-Rootered and
was unplugged.  So Granny Pat went and got him and brought him there for his
bath.  Then Dad called!  He was going to get to come home too!  Finally, Mom
stopped ranting and raving and she was SMILING!  we ARE going on our road
trip tomorrow!  Dad and Johnny are tired and grumpy tonight.  They keep
saying something about not being able to get any rest at the hospital.  But
Mom is happy.  She says they can both sleep all day tomorrow in the van.  

So, watch for us on the road - VIRGINIA BEACH  OR BUST!  

Drools to ya!

Norm (and the rest of the Red Bay Gang)

Grady, Hoagie, Johnny & Opie

Sandi Wittenberg - Mom to the Red Bay Basset Boys

 

 

 

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