[Dailydrool] MomPerson's Avenshure

[Beverly Szaton]

MomPerson goed on a avenshure taday not ment to be won but turnt out dat
way. She goin to da store. She turnt down da street an seen a loos doggie
liddel brinnel an white pitted bull (how can dat be a dog?) wif (she say
dis, not me) "teets to da gron."

So she flipper on she hazmat lites on da big red Van whut fallin aprt an
start follering da doggie. doggei go here dere eberwhere in street outta
street in street--MomP busy pullin in fronta oncomin cars an honkin, flappin
she arms outta da winnows tryina say WAIT WAIT STOP STOP an pullin RITE in
fronna peeple who gettin MAD. She dont care. Meentime she tryna watcher da
liddel doggie, watcher da cars an call da po-leece aminal controll. She git
a recordin. Oh poop.

All dis time horns honkin an peepel wavin wif dere middel finner (must be a
sekrit hooman greetin) an yellin stoff like sttopit wimmin dribers!!
She no care. She say she "flipemoff" whaddebber dat are.

Finely she git somwon at da po-leece say dey sen aminal control. She met dis
guy before he a cutie. Nope dey sentted somwon else whut got, MPerson say,
brain in he armpit.
He got no leesh no food no nuffin. Now MPerson habben leesh an she habben
bowl wiffout food cuz dis liddel girl doggie she hongry, eating garbitch
ouutta a gudders. MomPerson still mekin Use-Turns in fronta truks an cars
gone 400 mile a mimut she no care about horns an honkin. She shaggin da dog
outta da street an youse nose whut, she get help too, from peepels not
stoppin but slowin down and blockin lanes ob treffic.

Anyways stoopid aminal control man say he gone beke for he truk, MomP pull a
Uey she callit, in frontob a bus, an teke off affer pupdawg. Finely fine her
agin in a yard neer where anodder pitbull she pickt up wonce lib. She pull
inna dribeway an stopt ded lookin at whut she see----- a bekyard all fully 8
ft chain link wif big boards all aroun da base ob it.....Da doggie she run
passt carryin a pizza box go inna yard necxt door just den dese two huge
menpersons comes out from corsst da street an say DAT DOG ARE DOG.
MomPerson say, kinder hot now yousee affer chassin doggie hellanhiawather,
Oh yeah? Well she got no collar and she runnin down da middel ob Sauk Trail
an I juss spent 30 minuts mekin shure she no git hit and she hongry as hell.

He say
Yeah she bin missin we bin lookin for she.
MomPerson say
Yeah I aint seed YOU out dere anyplace. Aminal Control dey lookin for she
too.
Guy says
YOU CALLT AMINAL CONTROL?????
MPerson she reely hot now she say
YOUSE BETCHA I DO SHE GOT NO ID NO COLLAR NO NUFFIN SHE SKINNY SHE HAD
LITTERS SHE NO SPAYED SHE LOOSE SHE INNA MIDDLE OB DA STREET AN I NEBER SEED
YOUSE OUT DERE LOOKING!!
and from inna hawse dis woman she yell
YOU NO NEED TA BE SNOTTY

MomPerson say nuffin. Nuffin da smartest find she can say.
(She also nose the AC man not da reglar mans an heb gone home gibben up.)
She maddern hell. Shye also wondrin bout dat yard she seed crosst da street.
She say you bedder fine dat lidder girl (she neme "Cookie")an fine she fass.

Den she leeb an go to store muddering all da way bout 68 mph smoke comin
oudda she ears. She still mad. Dis kinder stoff reely piss she off.

Thot i bedder let you guys nose for youse rite her or nuffin.
Love and Drool to all in need,
Nigel, Llewis, Conley and Cooper, stayin outta da way eben tho she gib we
big hugs when she come home.
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