[Dailydrool] Basset Bath Time Playlist

[Elizabeth Lindsey]

I bathe our Elsinore and young Charlie once a month. It's not a  
popular or fun activity for any of us, but it must be done. To try to  
make it a less onerous ordeal, I take my iPod and speakers into the  
bathroom and play music. Awhile ago I realized that I was playing the  
same songs every time I popped the hounds into the shower, songs that  
spoke to the whole bath time experience and what I thought my hounds  
would sing with feeling if they could. So last month I decided to put  
together a proper Basset Bath Time Playlist. I share it here as a  
public service.

"Bad Things" (Jace Everett). This is the theme song to the tv show  
"True Blood." The line "I wanna do bad things with you" is repeated  
many times throughout. It seems to express Elsinore and Charlie's  
feeling about the situation, since they perceive baths as being bad  
things and I clearly want to do a bath "to them."

"Shut Up and Let Me Go" (The Ting Tings). This is the song I imagine  
our Elsinore especially singing to me, if she could, being quite  
forceful when she gets to the chorus about me shutting up and letting  
her go. Fat chance, Elsinore. Not until I've gotten all the soap off  
first, and first I have to get the soap on.

"*%$# You" (Lily Allen). This isn't a song for a family audience, but  
our Elsinore doesn't give a flying $@*$ about that when she's been  
dragged into the shower stall and sprayed with water all over.  
(Please forgive her language. She lived rough on the streets for who  
knows how long before Basset Hound Rescue of Alabama took her in.)

"Keep Your Hands to Yourself" (John Anderson). Another self- 
explanatory song, especially when your nether regions are being  
soaped up with way too much enthusiasm that's being explained as  
"getting rid of fleas."

"Take It Off" (Ke$ha). Thinking of soaping up, this song has a great  
beat for scrubbing down a dirty dog. It's also what I tell the hounds  
they're doing when I remove their collars.

"Don't Bring Me Down" (Electric Light Orchestra). With a bit of  
tweaking, I think this song's chorus does a good job of speaking for  
both hounds: "I'll tell you once more before I get out the bathroom  
door, don't bring me down!"

"Rehab" (Amy Winehouse). Another song that, when reworded slightly  
for the occasion, works well for dogs who'd rather stay dirty: "They  
tried to make me go to take a bath, but I won't go, go, go. ... I say  
no, no, no."

"The Strip Polka" (Johnny Mercer). To try to add a little humor to  
what Elsinore and Charlie feel is a grim situation. So far neither  
has laughed along at the lyrics with me.

"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" (Monty Python). This is a  
good song to dry off to, even if you've finished your bath or shower  
feeling as if absolutely nothing good could possibly come out of such  
a thoroughly unpleasant experience.

So what does everyone else sing during basset bath time to keep their  
spirits up?

Elizabeth