[Dailydrool] Harry ATB - Mommy's last tribute

[Laura Moravinski]

You died on a Monday.  The air was cool and crisp and smelled like leaves. We had walked that very morning, you and I.  Down the street to your park.  The leaves crunched under your Basset feet and the only sound was the occasional breeze in the trees or the soft snuffle of your nose at work.  I could not know it was to be our last time out together.  You devored your breakfast, spoiled boy, full of chicken and freshly fried liver.   And when you lay down to rest, you made mommy’s favorite Harry sound.  Like an old man settling in for a nap....hrumpf.  By the evening you were gone.  No more walkies, no more treats.  No more.  

When you came into my life it was a hot July day.  You came to me all ears and belly and attitude.  I was in love.  You were a naughty puppy, stubborn and full of life.  You ripped the curtains out of the wall, chewed the furniture, terrorized the cat and snarled over food.  Oh and the housebreaking.  10 months of a battle of wills.  We compromised you and I, on a system of bells.  You refused to bark, had to do it your way, but you loved bells.  So when mommy hung windchimes from the doorknob you rang them with abandon, your wet nose leaving smear marks on the door.  If, doG forbid I wasn’t fast enough for your liking, you would jump and paw the bells with all the force you could muster.  You were serious, and I had to act.  I swear I saw a sly smile when you would ring and send me scrambling from the shower, leaving a trail of bubbles, puddles and expletives.  But with love and patience and help from our new extended family, the Drool, we crested the mountain and settled in to a life of riches.  You opened my eyes to a part of the world I never knew existed.   Rescue, fostering, puppy mills, advocacy.  So many dogs passed through our doors, scared, alone, and you welcomed them all.  You shared your home, your people, your bed and stuffies.  Never once grumbling in protest.  You loved all animals and saw each beating heart as a friend.  Or at least an opportunity to score some additional playtime and treats.  Our neighbors called you “The Mayor” because everyone in town knew you, not the warm body holding the end of the leash.  You waddled at the ocean to raise money for homeless hounds, curly q’s proudly leading the way.  When we had the audacity to vacation without you, you let your displeasure be known by pouting.  Scowling at us with the death stare, eyebrows communicating waves of annoyance.  And then you forgave and all was right in the world once more. 

You saw me through the most difficult times of my life.  Infertility, loss, Autism.  Challenge after challenge you were my steadfast companion.  Countless tears were dried by your velvet ears.  Countless smiles were had by your uncanny ability to know the perfect time to do the Basset 500 or to howl at the groundhog.  You were perfect in every way, to me.  From your crooked leg to your Basset attitude.  You were my first, my only, my heart dog.  

As the years passed by and your muzzle turned to grey, I knew this day would come.  But how do you say goodbye?  Someone told me to bury you in my heart. That way you will always come when I call, ears flapping, tongue lolling, like years gone by.  

The emptiness today is beyond measure.  My heart is broken.  My will shaken.  I know I must go on but I don’t know exactely how to do that without you.  What is my life without your soft steady breaths, your warm fur, your brown eyes?  Who am I if not Harry’s mom?  I am left behind to find answers.  And someday I know I will.  But for today, I will grieve.  I will shed countless tears for our loss.  I will remember my handsome boy.  And I will try to find comfort in this empty house.  All I have to do is close my eyes and you are there.  Where you’ll stay.  

Be free my boy.  Run with abandon, no leash, no fence.  Chase the squirrles, drink from the cool stream, feast on the buffet.  Know that you changed me in ways I could never have imagined.  You left behind a legacy of love.  I am a better person for having known you.  Thank you for letting me love you and for helping me let you go.  

My Harry.
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