[Dailydrool] Da rules and who rules 'round here

[dpmcquade at verizon.net]

I have been here around eight months now. Settlin' in here was a challenge, since my first experiences of humans were all bad (but I'm not talkin' 'bout that anymore). My brother, Buddy, and I found cushy homes. The people are nice to us. No one hurts us anymore. They haven't even pushed us to learn what the humans call "obedience training," 'cause we just won't do it. Mom says someone must have tried to push it on us, and you know how bassets are when pushed.

But I have one problem. The mama just doesn't understand da rules. She's been owned by plenty of bassets, but some things just have not sunk in. For 'xample: It is in the rules that bassets go out whenever they feel like it. (That's in The Basset Rulebook [1.10]). So sometimes the mama takes me out, 'cause I said to. I come back in, and Dexter is at the door, whining. She invited him to come out with me, but he didn't show up at the door, so I went out alone the first time.

Well, when Dex goes out, of course I got out again. Isn't that the rules? Mom brings us back in waaay too soon. But Holly is at the door now, looking to go out. So of course, rule 1.10 says I can go out again. By this time the human is getting rather cranky (another thing that is not allowed: see rule 3:20). She tries to deny me the right to go out.

This is NOT right! The human is the slave and should always cater to the hound (I think that's rule 3.1). I sit patiently at the door and let her know I am very displeased. Happily, I have door dashed enough times that the mama is not fully sure I won't do it again, so about half the time she takes me out a third time. But sometimes she is just intractable and gives me this order STAY! What is with that stay thing? Why should I obey it? (See rule 1.10).

I am not some silly foster. I be 'dopted. They have had me for months now. Why does this silly human think she can disobey da rules?

 
Help me, please.
Horton, the fairly clueless Dashing Basset