[Dailydrool] Doggy Dictionary

[Lisa K. Metzler via Dailydrool]

Happy Memorial Day weekend!  I thought you all would get a chuckle out of this.

Much Drool and many prayers to all in need...this has been a sad, sad week for many of our "family" members.  May all of you find comfort...know that your hounds love you so much.

"Borrowed" from Dogproblems.com's Dog Training Tips Newsletter

Doggy Dictionary:

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead 
your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the 
guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: A liquid which, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to 
give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as 
you can and get the drool on the human.

SNIFF: A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human 
exchange of business cards.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to 
test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push 
the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with 
margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts 
of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control 
body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush 
and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The 
person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants 
them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly 
at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans 
remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to 
warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling 
your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old 
candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents 
throughout the house before your person comes home.

BATH : If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get 
jealous, and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. 
Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.

LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command "sit!," especially 
if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective 
before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are 
drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular 
bump doesn't get the attention you require ... especially effective 
when combined with the sniff. See above.

CHILDREN: Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to 
one assures some good petting. When running, they are good to chase. 
If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on.

LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without 
restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. 
If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

-------
Lisa Metzler (toppogigio at yahoo.com)
Addie, Annie. Ariel, Madison, and Rocky
...and Penelope, Jasmine, and Pelly (ATB)

Sent from my iPad