[Dailydrool] Toofies stolen!

[Pamela McQuade via Dailydrool]

Yestuday da mama and papa packed me up in da caw. I knew it was bad 
news, since I hadn't even had brekker. Skipping brekker is a bad ting, 
so I new somefing awful was up. 

Dey drove me to da scary vet where I lost one of my eyes. I  had been 
there a week before, and I knew that wasn't gude. But nuttin' happened, 
so I taut I'd be OK.

As you cn probly tell from the way I'm talking, dey nocked me out and 
stole six--dat's six--of my toofies. When I wuk up my mouf was sore and 
I felt at if someone had nocked me in da head. My legs hawdly worked. If 
it hadn't been fer da nice ladies who work dere, I really would have 
felt bad. I know  how ta work a crowd, and before long I had dem wapped 
awound my wittle paw. But I still fel' awful.

I heard dem say da mama had lots a time ta pick me up, but she and papa 
were dere the moment dey could break me loose. I was still pwetty loopy. 
Mama dwove me and papa home, den went out to get some special fud for me 
to eat. But I onwy got a widdle bit of it when papa fed me last night. I 
didn't compwain, since I still felt weelly ty-ard. Faw a wong time I 
just wandered around, nod sure whad to do. But when my leggies felt 
better, I found my couch and slep' dere all night. Mama didn't wanna 
leave me, so she cwept onto da couch and slep' with me, even though 
there wasn' enough woom. Early in the mownin' she lef' to go to bed, but 
I didn' even know. I woke up tudday and fel' better, but I'm still 
weally ty-ard an' da toofies (or shd I  say toofie spaces?) still don' 
feel wight. Mama says she hasta call da nasty vet an' see how much 
twamadol I shud take, 'cause she tinks da dose I got las' night was too 
much. All I cn say is I never slep' dat well before.

Mama says da owwies will be gone in a few days und I will feel bedder. I 
sure hope so. Dis was a mean ting ta do ta a hound, even if my toofies 
did hurt a bit.

I am neva a mean houndie, but I may come up wif something ta led da mama 
know how widdle I appweciated dat day. 
C. K. Dexter Haven of da Dashing Bassets