[Dailydrool] Step by Step Guide to Basset Bedtime

[Rebecca Louisa Stanton]

1  Its nearly midnight so you finally get into bed and turn the lights out,
as basset is showing no signs of waking
2  Snap the lights on 10 minutes later as basset has miraculously woken,
shaken his ears loudly and now wants to go out.  It's usually raining.
3  Unlock the front door and try to protect yourself from the blast of
arctic air that is flooding in as basset stands in the doorway sniffing the
air, oblivious to any cold
4  Hop from one foot to another to try and keep warm.  Basset has finished
drinking from his outside bowl of water (always preferred over the kitchen
bowls of water) and is now wagging his tail joyfully at you.  He still
hasn't peed, so keep hopping, this is going to take a while.  Basset
disappears behind the cars in the driveway to do his business.
5  Basset reappears a few seconds later, still happily wagging his tail.
If it happens to be dry outside, that is probably a bad sign, as whether
its a balmy summers evening or minus 5 degrees, this could signal flat
basset.
6  Wave a treat at the window to tempt basset back in, open the door
slightly and call encouragingly.  Basset lays down on the driveway in the
pitch black, happily sniffing the night air
7  Do a few errands in the kitchen to try to keep warm while watching to
see if basset gets up.  Finally he gets to his feet, and stands looking in,
wagging his tail.  Wave the treat again.  Basset looks unconvinced and
moves to the mud patch under the tree to have a dig and lie down.  Its now
quarter to 1 in the morning.  Remove slippers and put your wellies on,
before going out into the frigid air and suggesting to basset firmly that
its time he came in.
9  Once in, settle basset back down into bed.
9  Fight your rising hysteria 10 minutes later as basset is noisily shaking
his ears once more to let you know that he has decided he wants off the bed
and onto the sofa, and would very much like you to assist him with this.
10  Get back into bed.  Repeat the process a few hours later

Becky, Morse and Pumbaa ATB
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