[Dailydrool] Rolph. I need advice.

[Sally King]

Droolers, I'm looking for support, not criticism or harsh words.
As I've mentioned before, Rolph has been struggling with mobility. He's worn a Help Em Up harness for more than a year and it's been invaluable. He is on a lot of medication, there is nothing left to add and I take him regularly for hydrotherapy, cold laser and chiropractic treatments. I have also tried any number of homeopathic and holistic treatments.
He is also now doubly incontinent. He wears a belly band in the house, but due to his long coat, it's generally easier to pick up poop than put him in full nappies.
Until recently, he's had good days and bad days and, leaving aside his recent tummy troubles, the good have outweighed the bad. And even on the bad days he's been bright-eyed and wanting his food and (very short) walks.
The past few days have been bad days. I've had to assist him even to walk up the short ramp from the garden to the kitchen. He can't manage more than a few steps without going down in the rear and scooting along. and his tummy is still playing up, so I need to stop the Rimadyl, which may make him worse.
However, despite all of this, he is still bright-eyed. He still wants his food and still asks to come out for walks, despite the fact I'm having to hoik him up with the harness every little while.
Everyone has always said he will tell me when it's time. My holistic vet told me to talk to him and tell him it was OK to go, because she believes he is hanging on for me.
Due to the design of my house and the fact I live on a very steep hill, a cart is not an option.
The fact is, I don't know if I am selfish keeping him going, or I would be selfish to let him go. I am crying my eyes out because I don't know what to do and Rolph is so special to me. He's my heart dog. I don't want him to suffer, but I don't want to let him go and hate myself forever thinking he wasn't ready.
I need advice from people with more emotional distance.
Sally, with Rolph and Clara, UKsallyemking at yahoo.co.uk 
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