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<p class=MsoNormal>It’s Me Again – Norm!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>I am discovering that people are very weird. We have
this BIG fenced yard and a little fenced yard. During the winter when the
snow was WAAAYYY too deep to go into the BIG yard (at least without freezing
the gonads), all of us guys used the small yard to take a quick pee-pee. Sometimes,
we even made designs in the snow, but that is a different story. Anyhow,
when the snow all melted, dad discovered that the most of the grass melted
too! The grass completely disappears around our e-o-ne-mus (I think that
is what mom calls them) bushes and along the edges. Imagine
that! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>The Lawn Ranger (Dad) was not happy, so he went into action.
First, he raked up all the dead grass. Johnny and I tried to help him by
taking the grass and running around the yard with it. You know, getting chased
by a crazy man with a rake is pretty scary! Dad sprinkled some white
stuff on the dirt and raked it in. Then he got some fresh new dirt …..
mmmmm, sure smelled good! When dad went in to get a drink of water,
Hoagie and I rolled in the black dirt. Hoagie used to be red and white,
but now he is a tri-colored basset. Dad came yelling out of the house and
Mom had fire in her eyes! She told Dad, get that %$$#% fence up
NOW! So, Dad got out this funny green plastic-y stuff and pounded a bunch
of sticks in the ground with a giant hammer. He threatened to tie me to
the fence post with one of those cable ties, but I was too fast! Finally,
he finished putting up the green fence and it looked like our little yard was
in jail. Dad said “Boys, this is off-limits! Norm! That
means you too! FORBIDDEN TERRITORY!”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Wellllll, that got me to thinkin’! Who is HE to
decide it is FORBIDDEN TERRITORY? It is OUR yard! So very quietly,
in stealth basset mode, I started checking it out. Dad is a good builder,
but he slipped up this time! He made the mistake of not putting the
stakes very close together. I pushed a little on the bottom of the fence
with my nose and it moved. I tried it again and it moved some more.
Every day I did this and pretty soon, I could squeeeezzzzzeee under the green
plastic fence and go into FORBIDDEN TERRITORY! YEAH! I sniffed and
sniffed and sniffed! The grass is greener on the other side of the fence –
and it tastes better too! But then I got caught – and I couldn’t
get out! Mom rescued me the first time. Dad put more sticks in the
ground – but he isn’t smarter than me! I found some more
spots I could squeeze under, and back I went into FORBIDDEN TERRITORY!
Dad caught me the next time. He chased me round and round and round the
little yard – but I am VERY fast! When Mom came to the door to see
what all the yellin’ was about, I saw my chance and ran into the house
and into my crate. WHEW – I was safe!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>Then today, I ventured into FORBIDDEN TERRITORY again!
Mom heard Hoagie and Johnny barking and barking and barking and barking and –
well, you get the idea. She looked outside and there I was, sitting in
the middle of the FORBIDDEN TERRITORY! She just started laughing and told
Dad to look out the window. He didn’t laugh – he went and got
more sticks and the giant hammer. I heard him say something about “hammering
that puppy into the ground” - yeah, if he could catch me! But
mom intervened and called Hoagie and Johnny (the big snitches) and me into the
house. I wonder if I should climb the fence, eat the fence or tunnel in
to the FORBIDDEN TERRITORY next time.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p>
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