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<DIV>I'd really, really appreciate it if anyone could give me some perspective
on what to do -- I'm so exhausted and stressed and confused and worried that I
know I'm just not thinking clearly.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>One of my closest friends has a dog I adore, who has spent much of her life
at my house (I work at home, so she comes here most days while my friend is
gone). Karen (my friend) is away on vacation this week, so Emma (the dog)
is staying with me. I'd really been looking forward to this, because Emma
helped me through losing my Blueberry last year, and I yearned to have a little
furry one to snuggle up to.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Karen left Saturday. She left instructions that she didn't want her
vacation interrupted by calls with any bad news about Emma. She told me
that if Emma got sick (she wasn't sick and there wasn't any reason to anticipate
that she would be -- this was just covering the bases, along with what to
do if her house caught on fire), to use my own best judgment about
what to do, tests to have, etc. She even said that if Emma died, not to
tell her (Karen), just ask the vet to put her in the freezer till she got
home.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Well, on Sunday Emma suddenly collapsed on the floor. I raced to pick
her up, and she was so limp that I thought she was dead. Then her bladder
emptied all over me. It's been getting worse every day, now she's not
eating or drinking, her stomach is twice the size with fluid, I won't go into
all the symptoms, but it's clear that her systems are all shutting down.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>The vet, who is wonderful (she's known Emma since the day she was born, and
took care of my Blueberry her whole life), has spent a lot of time with Emma and
with me this week. Today, after the third visit, she said that if it were
her dog, she would put her to sleep. The x-rays show that she's full of
something, and the vet thinks it's cancer (she can't be sure without an
ultrasound, but an ultrasound would only confirm tumors, and with Emma's other
health problems she's not a candidate for surgery, so it doesn't really make
sense to have one). She said she doesn't think she's suffering pain, but
is just feeling really sick.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I need help from dog people to know what to do. Do I keep her going,
either hoping that somehow she might rally but mostly just wanting Karen to be
here to say goodbye and hold her? Do I call Karen -- even though she'd
said not to (of course, this particular idea didn't come up specifically) and
ask her what to do? I don't want to ruin her vacation (Emma is like her
daughter, and she absolutely dotes on her) by knowing the bad news (she works
really, really, really hard and has had lots of difficulties in her life this
past year and really needs this one week away, she's been saving for it all
year -- and she's almost the entire way across the country, with
non-changeable airline tickets, so she can't just fly home).</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>If Emma were in pain, I would call her. But should I keep her going,
feeling sick but not suffering, until Karen comes home (Saturday
midnight)? Should I call Karen and tell her all the details and ask?
My mind aches with spinning, I've been up all night holding her head
up to help her breathe. (The vet did a procedure today to remove some of
the fluid, so she's breathing better right now, and she won't need me to hold
her up tonight.)</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I'm sorry for rambling, I'm just so tired and scared and grieving and
overwhelmed by the responsibility that I can't see straight. And I feel
like I'm right back in the anguish of Blueberry's last days, too.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I just want to do what's right for everyone -- sweet, dear little Emma, who
with a few more days wait could go to the bridge in her mom's arms; and Karen,
who needs the chance to say goodbye, and who also needs the peace of this
vacation.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>(I'm also worried that if I do call Karen and she says for me to make the
decision, I will just crumble. I'll always think that I made the wrong
decision and robbed Emma and her Mom of the chance to say goodbye. Or, if
it's the other choice, that I made the wrong decision and made her continue
being sick for a few more days.)</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>If you can make any sense out of this and could give me guidance on what
you would do in this situation, I'd really appreciate it. I'm just so
deeply trapped inside the middle of it that I can't see the forest for the
trees, and I'm finding it hard to even take a deep breath.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Thank you so much. Please pray for Emma.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Fondly,</DIV>
<DIV>Beth H. (Duchess ATB and Blueberry ATB)</DIV></FONT></BODY></HTML>