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<DIV>Oh, I cannot tell my dear Daily Drool friends how much your e-mails of love
and support and insight have meant, as I've battled to keep my head above the
waters of the anguishing choices I have to make. </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I honestly could not think straight or see straight yesterday, and was so
panicked and terrified, and sinking right back into everything I went through
with my Blueberry ... I adore this sweet little Emma so much, too, she and
Blueberry were so close and she's spent almost every day at my house and in my
arms ... </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I don't have the words to thank you for your thoughts -- and mostly just
for being there, when I felt so utterly alone. You soothed and comforted
me, and your messages still do. I can't write the right words now because
I haven't really slept in three nights, but I will later.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>The vet called me early this morning to say she'd been thinking about Emma
and the whole situation and had an idea, so I took her in and she drained the
fluid that had filled her abdomen and was pressing onto her lungs. That
was like a miracle. Yesterday was awful, but she is so much more
comfortable. The vet said that she isn't suffering now. She sleeps
just about all the time. This is just a temporary fix, but if she can
continue like this, we'll make it so that she can go to the bridge cradled in
her Mom's arms. We only have to make it through two more days.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I want to reassure everyone that if either the vet or I thought Emma was
having any pain, we would act differently. But she is comfortable,
sleeping sweetly right now, snuggled up at my side, her soft breath against my
arm, and I wish we could just stay like this forever, freeze time and keep her
precious little life going.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I still watch her all the time, of course, in anxiety and fear and grief,
making sure she's breathing, listening for any strained breath or signs of
distress. And I hold her and tell her her Mom is coming, and just talk to
her, and tell her stories about when she was a baby and I first met her ...
</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>And I'm exhausted by crying and worrying, still constantly
second-guessing what I should do, until my mind spins. But I pray that
this is right for everyone, because it's all based in love. I love Emma,
so I want to do what's best for her -- letting her end her life in the arms of
the Mom she loves.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>I don't know how I would have gotten through the terror of last night
without all of you -- and I don't know if I'd have had the strength to go with
this decision without your wise insight and caring words.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Droolers are the best, and I love you all. Please keep our dear Emma
in your thoughts and prayers, that she stays comfortable until her Mom comes
home to her.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Love,</DIV>
<DIV>Beth H.</DIV></DIV></DIV></FONT></BODY></HTML>