<html><head><style type="text/css"><!-- DIV {margin:0px;} --></style></head><body><div style="font-family:times new roman, new york, times, serif;font-size:12pt"><DIV>Oh, this clueless momPerson is going to be an end of me yet.</DIV>
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<DIV>First off she took me in for a DENTAL on Friday. Now I don't know about you but when I go in for a DENTAL I expect the vet to restrict herself to my MOUTH. Under extreme cases there might be something missing from my MOUTH when I wake up (there wasn't) but NOT from anywhere else. Well. Apparently the vet is as clueless as my momPerson because I work up with a hunk missing from my ARMPIT. Hello!! Excuse me!!! How and why is my armpit related to any DENTAL procedure??? OUCH. These clueless people ...... and wait .... just wait .... it only gets worse.</DIV>
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<DIV>It seems that my momPerson has identified an entire HERD of clueless hooomans to play with on weekends. I kid you not!!! I know I told everyone about her swimming out in the open ocean last weekend. Well, since then there have been confirmed reports of Great White Sharks RIGHT IN CLOSE just 100 yards off shore ALL UP AND DOWN the coast here, specifically in Santa Cruz. It seems the water is warmer than usual which brings the big tuna in and the sharks come in feeding on the tuna and so .... the clueless humans decided it would be great run to hold a Triathlon in Santa Cruz. So, this is what they did:</DIV>
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<DIV>1) They signed up about 1,000 clueless hoomans</DIV>
<DIV>2) They sorted them by age and gender and put them all in the ocean in groups (14-25 year old male morons, 25-30 year old female idiots, 40-49 year old clueless females (guess who went in this group, just guess!!)</DIV>
<DIV> a) Each group swam 750 METERS out to sea (remember the sharks have been sighted just a 100 yards off) and then 750 Meters back on the other side of the warf</DIV>
<DIV> b) To make things interesting the end of the warf is inhabited by lots and lots of seals which of course attract the sharks</DIV>
<DIV>3) They rounded up all the survivors of the swim and sent them off riding their bicycles on HIGHWAY 1 all the way to Davenport. And back.</DIV>
<DIV> a) HIGHWAY 1 is a costal highway in which the road goes either straight up or straight down, it has no flat spots. </DIV>
<DIV> b) The grade is EXTREME, either you are flying downhill at 30 MPH or you are pumping up (straight up) for all you're worth </DIV>
<DIV> c) The bike path is at most 4 inches wide</DIV>
<DIV> d) At one point they had all 1,000 participants out there on that road</DIV>
<DIV> c) They decided NOT to close the road because all that traffic just adds to the excitement, what with bikes passing each other and falling over on the hills and so on</DIV>
<DIV>4) They rounded up all the survivors of the swim AND the bike and sent them off for a nice 10K run straight up a hill.</DIV>
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<DIV>Somehow, the clueless momPerson survived.</DIV>
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<DIV>I'm speechless. I have FIRED the clueless momPerson as her own social secretary. I have changed her paypal and active.com passwords and will be screening all of her events going forward. Oh, and I'm looking for a vet who can tell the difference between a mouth and an ARMPIT.</DIV>
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<DIV>More later from Snoopy who has simply had ENOUGH .... with LuLu (don't mess with him when he's like this) and Gracie (I messed with him, she's right, it's not a good idea)</DIV>
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