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</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></head><body lang=EN-US link="#0563C1" vlink="#954F72"><div class=WordSection1><p class=MsoNormal>Hi Everybody --- Nick Here!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Does anybody have a direct line to Santa Claus? I have decided what I want for my Christmas Birthday ... I want a gas mask!! Actually I NEED a gas mask. <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>You see (and I smell) .... my Cousin Morey, who sleeps in a crate beside me, has SBD (silent but deadly) farts! I mean these farts are awesome! Even though mom gives Morey his Di-gel with every meal, he still is rather odiferous! I have seen mom and Granny Pat drive down the expressway at 95 miles an hour, with the temperature at -879870 degrees and a wind chill factor of -77018757107 with the windows OPEN ... all to avoid being asphyxiated by Morey's farts. Morey can clear a room in a nanosecond!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Now most of the time, I simply turn the other way and escape the toxic fumes. But since the weather is getting colder, Dad has put up our storm windows so we don't have a fresh air breeze on our sunporch. Mom has put our specially made crate cover on all six of our crates ... yep it is one BIG crate cover. When we go to bed, mom drops the front of the cover and zips it up so we don't get a draft on us. While I appreciate all of this .... if Morey farts it is AWFUL!!! My eyes water, I sneeze, my lips turn blue from holding my breath (and I am NOT a blue basset) and my toenails curl!!! I think my only hope is to have Santa bring me a Gas Mask!!! <o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>So ... if anybody knows Santa on a first name basis, has his 800 number (or even his 900 number) or his e-mail address ..... PLEASE let me know! I really need to talk to him!<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal><o:p> </o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Slurps,<o:p></o:p></p><p class=MsoNormal>Nick<o:p></o:p></p></div></body></html>