[Dailydrool] The World According To Norm - Grumpy Old Men

[Sandi Wittenberg]

It's me again - Norm!

Here I am in the frozen tundra of Michigan.  Now, I don't have a bunch of
experience with this winter stuff since I was just a baby last winter, but
baby - it's cold outside.  Mom says it is colder than a witch's . oh, never
mind . it is really cold.  And I have made two discoveries.  My first
discovery is POOPSICLES!  Yummy!  And it makes Mom go crazy - this morning
she was chasing me around the yard in her jammies and pink fuzzy slippers,
swinging the pooper-scooper around at me!  And it was 20 degrees outside -
but have no fear, the words coming out of her mouth raised the temperature a
good 20 degrees or so - maybe more!  I think it was probably more 'coz she
got all red in the face like she does when it is really hot outside.  Plus,
Mom's aggerties are bothering her, her nose looks like Rudolph, she's got a
sore throat and earache and she's got cellar-itis on her leg.  I checked out
her leg really good tonight and I didn't see any cellars, but what do I
know???

My second discovery is that when winter comes and it gets cold outside, it
makes the older boyz turn into grumpy old men!  Opie and I were outside
yesterday, just doing our normal stuff, wrestling, barking, playing tag,
tormenting Hoagie and Johnny - I mean trying to get Hoagie and Johnny to
play with us - you know, that kind of boy stuff.  Yeah, we were a little
noisy.  Yeah, we were a little rowdy.  Yeah, we were even a little ornery.
Johnny yelled at us once and told us to settle down, and we did for a
nano-second.  Then Hoagie yelled at us, and we settled down for two
nano-seconds 'coz Hoagie never yells at anybody.   Man oh man, I didn't know
Hoagie had such big teeth!  He snapped at me - but fortunately for me, Mom
was coming out to bring us inside - so I got away when Hoagie was waiting at
the gate.  So then, we were all running to the door and it happened!  I
bumped into Hoagie and he got mad!  He grabbed me by the neck!  He pinned me
to the ground!  Mom yelled and he kept trying to shake the stuffin' out of
me.  Then Johnny came over to help him - I was in deep doo-doo!  And where
was Opie???  Hiding behind Mom!!  Finally, Mom grabbed Johnny and shoved him
in the house and got Hoagie by his fur and made him go airborne - and Hoagie
is a BIG guy - I think he weighs 428301 nickzillion pounds.  Then, Dad came
to the door and said "what's going on?"  DUH!  HOAGIE IS TRYING TO SHAKE THE
STUFFIN' OUT OF ME!  So, Dad put Johnny in his crate, then Opie and I got in
our crates and then Mom chucked Hoagie into his crate.  All the while, Grady
is acting like Kujo Dog in his crate.  It was not a pretty sight and Mom was
not a happy camper - she kept mumbling stuff about Michigan Basset Rescue
and Margrets!

So, from the land of the Poop-sicles, wheezing-coughing-sneezing-itching Mom
and grumpy old men - I think I will go play in the snow and lay low for a
day or two - and stand guard on that turkey that is in the fridge in the
garage!

Drools to ya!

Norm (and the rest of the Red Bay Gang)

Grady, Hoagie, Johnny & Opie

Sandi Wittenberg - Mom to the Red Bay Basset Boys

 

 

 

 

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