[Dailydrool] Commpwaint

[Beverly Szaton]

Dis Nigel gostritin agin for da "liddel won", Conley. He say affer he firss
birffday he start ritin he own stuff, eben usin bowels. Llewis you
nose--bowels-- aa, eek, iyi, ooooooh, youse.....say whut?
uh....Ok...Uh VOWels. I ment VOWels.
Ok here Conley:

Yestiddy wuz fantasstikal. We pleyd ousside skreemin an yellin an run run
run onlee MPerson she come ousside ebbertime an meke we come innside, sumfin
about noyise. She no fun a tall. So we goes ousside an digdigdigdig an den
run run run an skreem lafffin habbin fun an heer she come agin. Fooey.
So inside agin an fine liddel fing on counder whut da pizzer git cut wif an
it gotta krunchie hendel but She teke it away  lookin snarly.
Den foun a fing on da couner whut yust ta teke hot stuff outta da hotbox.
Not onlee chewie but gots foodie testes too an she come along an snarl an
teke it, too.
Got da cubburd open to fine basgetti an sum taterchippies an stoff like dat
but I gotted cawt. MPerson gittin testie. Snarly. She say if I wanna be "dis
way" (whuddeber dat be) I sit out inna workrum wif she, so she meke me stay
inna werkrume.
Youse nose whut?She dropt all kinder stoff onna floor cuz she be cleening
sorta, puttin da shiney stones an stoff away whut wif she meke purty joolree
she gone do sumfin else. An I fine a paint brushy, ate da hendel. I fine two
liddel pineycones chunked dem up. I fine a fing onna shelf whut dey set on
fire to meke nicey smell (well, nicey to dem.)(Dey gotta funny smell idears.
No like poop but like flawers. Strenge peepels.)
Enyways so I start on dat an MomPerson blooey an I end up in my jail.

Venshually she letted me out. We goes ousside run run run barkybarkybarky
she come ousside heer we goes agin all ober.WHY WE NO CAN BARKY?  We dawgs!
Dass whut we do! We be kiddies skreemin nobody care but we be dawgs so gotta
be quite. Booooooooooooooooooooring.

We comes in. Da brudders go sleep. I lookin roun an dere on da counner a hef
alloafabred. Hmmmm. Nobody round. Snick. I gots da Bred!! Conley gots da
Bred! Ise heppy. Ise been quite. Den heer she come. WHOOHOO da eyeballs blow
rite outta da hedbone an da mouf open an da words! My goonness. And
den...she do dis.
She pik up da bred an SHE BEET ME WIF IT!! Dis crooltie. Dis Abyouse! She
beetin da puppy ober an ober wif da bred. Ober da hed. On da bek. Whop whop
whop. Conley try to run. She yellin. GIDINDACRATE. I go. I not stoopid.
So dat my compwaint. I got beet. Sumbuddy gonna do sumfin bout dis for pore
liddel Conley?
I luv yu
Luv
Conley

***
Dat it. Dat whut da liddel bra....guy fink he need resqueing from. Ha. Mebbe
we sell im. $5.00. Free shippink an a loffa bred.
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nigel da Gostriter.
Oh Llewis I kiddin. I not sellin im, quit whinin.
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