[Dailydrool] (no subject)

[RGeyer5165 at aol.com]

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: 

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other 
dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my 
plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, 
nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me 
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall 
faster than you can run..

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about 
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your 
comfort, however.. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep 
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to 
the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and 
having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but 
sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some 
miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not 
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge 
in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. 
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance 
is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog 
or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the 
front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: 
(1) They live here. You don't. 
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. 
That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. 
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who 
are short, hairy, walk on all fours and    
from Rene'e and Buddydawg













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