[Dailydrool] The World According to Norm -- The Bathathon

[Sandi Wittenberg]

It's me again - Norm!

So, here we are in the great State of Michigan where is has been a
nickzillion degrees COLD and Mom decides that we smell bad.  I was offended!
She said we had passed the *Frito* stage and were well into the stale
*Dorito* stage.  Anyway, just the other day it got above freezing for a
while, and she decided that she was going to give us all a bath.  First, she
gets out the ear cleaner, then the toofer cleaners, then the nail grinder -
ohhh, I knew we were in for a rough ride.  She grabs Hoagie and hefts him up
onto the grooming table - ears go good, toofer cleaning a little less good,
nail grinding - you'd think she was torturing him!  He groans the whole
time!  Then it is Grady's turn - nail grinding goes good, in fact he fell
asleep; toofer cleaning good, ears? - oh boy - the flapping!  Then my turn -
I was perfect - well almost perfect - I don't like the toofer cleaning too
much.  Then Johnny - ears go good, toofers okay, nails??  MY GOODNESS - he
acted like a Houdini - twisting and turning - Mom nailed him to the grooming
table and the deed was done.  Finally Opie - he hates his ears cleaned so
there was lots of drama there, loves his toofers brushed - so no problem
there, and he was good for his nails too!  That boy is learning - Mom always
wins.  

After all that, Mom was sweating and tired, so I thought we were done.  But
NO - she loads us all in the van and takes us over to Granny Pat's.  The big
boys were all 'cited - they kept saying *we're goin' to see the girls -
we're going on a date - we're goin' to see the girls*.  We got there - we
all went down to the basement to the bathtub area - the big boys were saying
*where's the girls?*  They wouldn't listen to me - I tried to tell them that
it was bath time, not girl-date time!  They found out - I was right!  So the
bath-a-thon started - talk about rub-a-dub!  Mom scrubbed and rinsed and
scrubbed and rinsed - again and again and again!  WOW - for an old Mom, she
sure can give a lot of baths and lift a lot of houndies tonnage!  By the
time she was finished, I think she had lifted 4328098 nickzillion basset
pounds.   She kept saying that each of us was getting heavier than the one
before - didn't make much sense to me 'coz we weren't getting anything to
eat - but that is what she said.  

Finally we were done - Mom went out and got the van all heated up and cozy
warm - then she loaded us up and we came home.  Dad had washed all of our
*linens* and had the little heater revved up for us - it was time for a long
nap before dinner.  I must admit - it felt good not to be a Dorito anymore.

Drools to ya!

Norm (and the rest of the Red Bay Gang)

Grady, Hoagie, Johnny & Opie

Sandi Wittenberg - Mom to the Red Bay Basset Boys

 

 

 

 

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