[Dailydrool] Basset-designed diets

[Drew McQuade]

After all this discussion I started on the subject of a less expensive food, 
Jane has decided that she is going to design her own diet. Before we'd 
decided to change, she already was unethusiastic about the Merrick Turducken 
that she'd been happily eating for a couple of years now. Recently she'd 
eat, but only after it became thoroughly obvious that nothing better was 
available. Slowly, she started being even more balky, not eating one meal in 
a day.

So I finally call the vet, to ask if her new heart medication could be the 
cause. No. "Try to get her to eat something," the vet says. So I make up 
some rice and turkey. Jane gobbles it down and asks for more. She eats like 
a starving basset in the morning, so I feed her a bit less at night. She'd 
really like more but puts up with my stinginess.

"Well," I think, "hunger is obviously not the problem. Why not try another 
kibble and see if that turns her around." So I buy some chicken California 
Natural today. I bring it in and offer a taste test. Bel gobbles it down, no 
problem. Jane won't touch it.

Here I am trying to lower my dog food bill, and Jane wants me to cook for 
her. She hung out in the kitchen for most of the morning, until I gave in 
and cooked again. Fortunately I had some frozen chicken livers on hand. I 
did put a small handful of kibble in with it, but Jane carefully ferreted 
out some of it, to prove her point.

No matter what your financial situation, bassets only want the best. Guess 
I'd better get a couple more book contracts this year, to keep her in 
food--or maybe I'll just start letting her get hungry enough to eat. She 
isn't skinny and probably won't starve before she caves in. I couldn't 
possibly fit another book in my schedule this year. I'll be cranking 
projects out until at least the end of November, as is. If she wants great 
food, she'd better start working, too. Would someone like to hire a 
twelve-year-old basset with lots of moxy?
Pam, food slave (yes, really) to the Dashing Bassets, only one of which is 
being cranky now