[Dailydrool] Read this before you get a Puppy

[Beverly Szaton]

1. Decide to get a puppy
2. Get puppy
3. Bring puppy home stopping once at an out-of-the-way spot, not a rest
stop, to let puppy poop because he is farting enough to fuel the car.
4.Get vaccines 2nd shots
5. Fall madly in love with puppy
6. On day 4 take puppy outside and watch with horror while he
poops...poops...poops...pooops....and it turns from solid to mush to mucus.
7. Figure it's the food.
8. Have someone remind you about Oprah's puppy, thanksalot.
9. Take puppy out later and watch while he pukes twice.
10. Decide between heart attack on the spot and calling Vet.
11. Call Vet
12. Take in stool sample that stinks up the whole car worse than the farts
had.
13. Try not to watch the ELISA tests for Parvo and Giardia for ten minutes.
14. Realise the pounding in your temple is the beginning of a migraine
15. Have Vet joking around trying to get you to relax. He is too big to
strangle but maybe you could just trip him as he goes past laughing at his
own jokes.
16. Have someone come in and say your dog is SCREAMING in the Van and it is
getting hot outside.
17. Have Parvo test negative
18 Have Giardia test negative....no wait! A sharp-eyed tech says uh uh, it's
Pos.
19. Remember that you, your family, your friends, the Vets and the groomers
have all been kissing and playing with the puppy,not to mention the dogs at
home.
20. Buy a lifetime supply of Flagyl
21. Stop and pick up a case of wine and a box of Brownie mix.
22. Hand puppy to husband.
23. Take migraine meds, bottle of wine and freshly baked brownies into
bedroom. Shut door.
24. Lock it.

MomPerson to Nigel, Llewis, Conley and Cooper
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