[Dailydrool] Urgently need advice

Wed Sep 16 19:42:25 PDT 2009

Beth

       I understand a little what you are going thru, I just lost Toby after 12 wonderfull years and I made it about a week and a half before I got Einstein. The Tobester passd away on the way to the emergency room and it was heartbreaking. I will always remember him and I buried him in the back yard. I could not even fathom giving the responsibility of living or dying to a friend let alone one that has been thru what you have been thru. I find it hard to beleive that she didn't know something was wrong when she left. Bassets are very expressive and their owners sense or see problems. She sound as if she was guilty before she left. It is not fair to put the responsibility on you. CALL HER!!!! If you dont she will not be happy and if you do she will not be happy its not your deciscion it is hers.
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Hinchliffe at aol.com 
  To: dailydrool at dailydrool.org 
  Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 9:41 PM
  Subject: [Dailydrool] Urgently need advice

  The DAILY DROOL
  An internet mail list designed to
  entertain and inform basset hounds
  and their people.

  ------------------------------------------

             ----
             /    \__
  |\         /    @   \
  \ \_______|    \  .: O
   \      ##|    | \__/
    |    ####\__/   \
    /  /  ##       \|
   /  /__________\  \
   L_JJ           \__JJ
  -----------------------------

  Daily Drool Website:
  http://www.dailydrool.com

  ***2010 Daily Drool Calendar***
  http://www.cecilgraphics.com/DD2010/calendar.php

  Fundraising Information:
  http://www.esthermstrom.com/A55B3D/ddFunds.nsf/byGroup?Open

  Dictionary of Common Drool Terminology:
  http://mysite.verizon.net/msrandolph/

  Daily Drool Archives:
  http://lists.dailydrool.org/pipermail/dailydrool-dailydrool.org/

  Old Daily Drool Archives:
  http://oldarchives.dailydrool.org/dailydrool/

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  I'd really, really appreciate it if anyone could give me some perspective on what to do -- I'm so exhausted and stressed and confused and worried that I know I'm just not thinking clearly.

  One of my closest friends has a dog I adore, who has spent much of her life at my house (I work at home, so she comes here most days while my friend is gone).  Karen (my friend) is away on vacation this week, so Emma (the dog) is staying with me.  I'd really been looking forward to this, because Emma helped me through losing my Blueberry last year, and I yearned to have a little furry one to snuggle up to.

  Karen left Saturday.  She left instructions that she didn't want her vacation interrupted by calls with any bad news about Emma.  She told me that if Emma got sick (she wasn't sick and there wasn't any reason to anticipate that she would be -- this was just covering the bases, along with what to do if her house caught on fire), to use my own best judgment about what to do, tests to have, etc.  She even said that if Emma died, not to tell her (Karen), just ask the vet to put her in the freezer till she got home.

  Well, on Sunday Emma suddenly collapsed on the floor.  I raced to pick her up, and she was so limp that I thought she was dead.  Then her bladder emptied all over me.  It's been getting worse every day, now she's not eating or drinking, her stomach is twice the size with fluid, I won't go into all the symptoms, but it's clear that her systems are all shutting down.

  The vet, who is wonderful (she's known Emma since the day she was born, and took care of my Blueberry her whole life), has spent a lot of time with Emma and with me this week.  Today, after the third visit, she said that if it were her dog, she would put her to sleep.  The x-rays show that she's full of something, and the vet thinks it's cancer (she can't be sure without an ultrasound, but an ultrasound would only confirm tumors, and with Emma's other health problems she's not a candidate for surgery, so it doesn't really make sense to have one).  She said she doesn't think she's suffering pain, but is just feeling really sick.

  I need help from dog people to know what to do.  Do I keep her going, either hoping that somehow she might rally but mostly just wanting Karen to be here to say goodbye and hold her?  Do I call Karen -- even though she'd said not to (of course, this particular idea didn't come up specifically) and ask her what to do?  I don't want to ruin her vacation (Emma is like her daughter, and she absolutely dotes on her) by knowing the bad news (she works really, really, really hard and has had lots of difficulties in her life this past year and really needs this one week away, she's been saving for it all year -- and she's almost the entire way across the country, with non-changeable airline tickets, so she can't just fly home).

  If Emma were in pain, I would call her.  But should I keep her going, feeling sick but not suffering, until Karen comes home (Saturday midnight)?  Should I call Karen and tell her all the details and ask?  My mind aches with spinning, I've been up all night holding her head up to help her breathe.  (The vet did a procedure today to remove some of the fluid, so she's breathing better right now, and she won't need me to hold her up tonight.)

  I'm sorry for rambling, I'm just so tired and scared and grieving and overwhelmed by the responsibility that I can't see straight.  And I feel like I'm right back in the anguish of Blueberry's last days, too.

  I just want to do what's right for everyone -- sweet, dear little Emma, who with a few more days wait could go to the bridge in her mom's arms; and Karen, who needs the chance to say goodbye, and who also needs the peace of this vacation.

  (I'm also worried that if I do call Karen and she says for me to make the decision, I will just crumble.  I'll always think that I made the wrong decision and robbed Emma and her Mom of the chance to say goodbye.  Or, if it's the other choice, that I made the wrong decision and made her continue being sick for a few more days.)

  If you can make any sense out of this and could give me guidance on what you would do in this situation, I'd really appreciate it.  I'm just so deeply trapped inside the middle of it that I can't see the forest for the trees, and I'm finding it hard to even take a deep breath.

  Thank you so much.  Please pray for Emma.

  Fondly,
  Beth H. (Duchess ATB and Blueberry ATB)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  _______________________________________________
  Dailydrool mailing list
  Dailydrool at dailydrool.org
  http://lists.dailydrool.org/listinfo.cgi/dailydrool-dailydrool.org
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.dailydrool.org/pipermail/dailydrool-dailydrool.org/attachments/20090916/687c5571/attachment-0002.htm>