[Dailydrool] Separation Anxiety

[Pam McQuade]

<<Jessica works from home so she spends a lot of time with the puppy Lucca,
aka Lulu. Lulu has become very attached to Jessica. When Jessica and her
husband Joe are home together, Lulu is fine, but still prefers Jessica over
Joe. However, when Jessica leaves and Lulu is home alone with Joe, she pouts
and cries by the door and won't go near Joe. It isn't so much that she seems
afraid of Joe, but more likely that she doesn't want to be without Jessica
and thinks Jessica isn't coming back.>>

This is so typical of dogs with separation anxiety. They connect very 
strongly with one person. Behaviorist Nicholas Dodman calls such a dog "The 
Dog Who Loved Too Much." Separation anxiety dogs are wonderful companions 
for the adored humans, because they love more intensely than secure dogs; 
but they also can cause more behavioral problems, having accidents in the 
house, chewing, or generally destroying things in the house. It's all a 
matter of insecurity. The good news: A separation anxiety dog may never 
entirely lose the problem, but it can be managed. A dog like this needs 
security more than anything, and a predictable regimen and training can 
help. Earlier today I posted a Web site from the ASPCA that may be helpful, 
though at the time I didn't know anyone needed it right now.

In the standard protocol for dealing with separation anxiety, the one who is 
so much loved needs to give the dog the idea that things are safe when she 
is not there. Going in and out for short periods, then slowly increasing the 
time out will begin to give the dog a sense of security. Eventually the dog 
may decide that it is reasonably safe and the bad behavior may disappear. 
But separation anxiety is a persistent problem. If things change, the human 
gets a job outside the home or leaves for a time, the insecurity may return. 
The human will have to return to the training. In my experience, the second 
time can actually be easier, because the hound has been secure once before 
and just needs to regain that emotion.

Though there may be other people in the household, other dogs to keep them 
company, and other animals in the household, separation anxiety dogs are 
still likely to become unhappy when the beloved object is missing. This 
happens, I understand, because they feel as if they have to control their 
environment. When the one they love disappears, they are no longer in 
control and fear sets in. The other members of the family may be nice, in 
the dog's opinion, but they will never take the place of the beloved object, 
who provides security.

Belvedere, our separation anxiety dog, was passed about a lot before we got 
him--we figure we may have been his fifth home. When he met me, he decided I 
was "the one." His security was dependent on my being with him, and since I 
work from home, I usually was. Over time, as he learned that I would not 
desert him and we used the standard behavioral treatment described above, he 
improved--until I got a job outside the home. Though I was not working 
full-time, it still brought back his accidents. When I stopped working 
outside the home, over time, things again improved. After all these years, 
when I leave, Bel will still lie on the couch or by the front door, awaiting 
my return. He likes my husband, Drew, well enough and adores our first 
basset Jane, who was here before him, but they cannot lessen his separation 
anxiety.

Recently I pet-sat a neighbor's dog who has separation anxiety. Dylan has 
been fine for a couple of years, since he came to Jeff's home and began to 
love him. But when Jeff left for a few days, it returned. He became very 
nervous, barking frequently, escaping from Drew and I and running around the 
neighborhood (perhaps in search of Jeff, since he twice ended up on the 
street where Jeff's good friend lives), and chewing at the molding around 
Jeff's back door. When I gave Dylan the Clomicalm that had been prescribed 
for him, he calmed down a lot. Once Jeff returned, all became right with 
Dylan's world (though Jeff has to replace or fix that molding--thankfully 
he's a carpenter).

With all the costs of dealing with the issues, separation anxiety dogs are 
still wonderful. Bel is my heart dog, and no one will be able to take his 
place. I love all the Dashing Bassets, but this needy fellow took one look 
at me and said, "Mine." I've never been able to deny that.

Tell your friend not to give up. If needs be, she can get the help of a 
behaviorist and/or try medication. But most of all, this dog needs 
acceptance, love, and understanding. Punishment will not work, because it 
will make the dog more nervous. Love and security are the answers to this 
problem. It may take time, but it also may give her the most wonderful dog 
who has ever owned her.
Pam, food slave to the Dashing Bassets