[Dailydrool] Marcie and your thoughts of giving her up

[Zara444]

Debra,

I understand your conflicted feelings, as my latest rescue is only one year old and FULL of energy.  We have 2 other dogs for her to play with, a big basset boy, Monty da Moose, and an Australian shepherd, Luke (who is also full of energy).  We have a fenced yard for them, but I wish it was bigger.  I am usually gone for 12 or more hours a day, except for weekends.  They stay outside all day while I'm gone and I'm sure they get bored.  They do have squirrels to bark at.  So I know how it feels to be inadequate as a parent.  I try to spend "mommy and me"  time with each of them when I get home,  but I am exhausted and have a bad back so I can't play as much as they like,  but they seem to really love the individual time just holding and loving and getting belly rubs.

You have to realize that Marcie is still a puppy and will have that kind of energy for a while.  As a psychotherapist,  it concerns me that you are being so hard on yourself.  Clearly you and Marcie have a bond - don't underestimate the importance of that.  The fact that you spend so much time with her IS important to HER!

Especially given that you are undergoing cancer treatments, it sounds like you spend lots of time and energy on her.   Again, don't underestimate how important that time is to her.  You also need to recognize and appreciate how much YOU love her, need her fo companionship and how much comfort YOU get from her.  Especially with you undergoing a pretty stressful time yourself.  I think you are underestimating how much time and attention you give her and that kind of love and attention are very important for a growing pup, or any pet for that matter.

I also understand that you want the best for her, as you are considering giving her up - no matter how much it would hurt you.  I think it would hurt her too to not be with the person who raised her - and loved her so, and whom she has come to depend on.

Perhaps you need to get her toys that require more time and she wouldn't get bored with so easily.  I understand that "kongs" are very popular and prevent boredom.  They have a hole where you stuff special treats, and she has to work very hard to get the treats out.

I think your willingness to give her up to make her happier is very honorable,  but PLEASE re-evaluate the kind of love and bond you 2 share.  Giving her up isn't going to be helpful for you - your grief and stress about losing her isn't going to help your cancer.  And you need to take care of yourself and keep YOUR stress level down right now.

It sounds like you are giving her a lot of attention, and you need to acknowlege ( sp?) that to and for yourself.  Remember that she is still a puppy - by nature, they have boundless energy.  It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong, or that you don't give her "enough".  

My little Abby (and she is very little - only about 38 pounds) loves things that make a lot of noise - like empty plastic bottles - she can entertain herself for a long time.  She throws it and runs after it over and over again.  She also loves those BIG knuckle bones. She'll chew on that for hours.  She has both of these things inside and outside!

I'm really hoping you'll start giving yourself more credit for all you do for Marcie.  Please don't hesitate to contact me directly for more encouragement !

Zara Kolb - proud mommy to all my rescued furkids :  basset hounds Monty da Moose & Abby, Australian shepherd Luke, and all 7 kitties.  


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