[Dailydrool] Momma goes Marlene

[Swartz]

Ruger woofing in; From the lipperflaps of Brudder Elwood I have a libber
story to tellz youz.  We had trouble right here in our little home on
Friday night...Thought we were going to have a Friday night UFC
(Ultimate Fighting Championship) fight.  Momma went Marlene on the
neighbor women. Yeppers but before I tellz the story a must give you a
little background: Neighbor Ms. Martha have cancer, been going through
chemo that make her sick.  Momma a very considerate person and try to
keep us quiet sense she never know when Ms. Martha be laid up sick. Plus
she says we don't need to be sitting out under the trees barking up a
storm at the squirrelistans. She said we need to become silent and
deadly hunters more like Special Forces.  Well Ms. Martha has a
daughter, who is loud, rude and totally obnoxious and who has somehow
managed to tick off all of our nice Aunties in the neighborhood.  Well
Momma had just gotten home, we could tell she tired and not feeling
good, she let us out to pee but that had to wait because there was a
nickzillion squirrels in our compound and the alarm had to be sounded.
Momma was trying to bring in the food from her hunting trip...that women
a dog gone good hunter. Anyhowl, Colt & I going crazy chasing the
squirrels up the tree and being the good hound dogs that we are, we
barked about treeing them and telling them to come down & we kill them
swiftly.  Momma not pleased she yelling at us "NO BARK" Then it happen.
The daughter come over, momma knows why she there...it Friday, it chemo
day for Ms. Martha. Daughter tell her this and Momma very nicely say
"I'll go get them and bring them in and try to keep them quiet for the
rest of the night". Stupid daughter don't except that and start going
off on our momma about her mom being sick and the dogs constant barking.
BAD MOVE! Momma try to explain she try to be considerate and keep us
quiet, but hey they are dogs and they are going to bark sometimes and
she can't keep us in the house 24/7...We gotz to pee, poop, protect our
home from squirrels, and sun bathe. Then she start yelling at the momma
about her mom a being sick with the cancer, and our momma don't care,
thanks for your F'ing compassion.  This girl must be crazy...momma love
Ms. Martha, why she drag us in the house many of days when we "barking
our foul heads off" She tell us No one want to hear all that ruckus,
especially Ms. Martha, cause she sick.  Momma then went Marlene on her,
told her to get her a** back across the yard and take care of her mom
and that she would take care of us.  Colt & I now be a little scared
because momma don't get the fire shooting out her nose very often, and
her eyes goes black and the usually invisible birth mark on her forehead
now turn purple (it only show up when she sick, or mad). The daughter
starts to say something else and momma said "NO, we are done here, get
back across that yard before I throw you across it".  Then she come
after us with the leashes. We know better than to mess with her when she
in demon mom mode, she tell us "inside, now" Yes mom...going now
mom...please don't beat us.  Okay momma never beat us, but this time she
really mad. She goes and talks to Dad on Skype and tells him all about
it...She spitting fire. Colt took here a bottle of wine to try and chill
her out a little. After she talk to daddy she feed us, tell us she loves
us.  After that she talk to Auntie Val and Auntie Shirley momma needed
to vent! Finally she calm down a bit, and we all sit on the couch and
Colt and I lay beside her offering up our bodies for pets to lower her
blood pressure.  We haven't seen hide nor hair of the daughter, probably
a good thing to.  Momma talk to Ms. Martha the next day, saw her out in
her yard when we returned from a walk. Ms. Martha very upset with the
daughter and apologize to momma.  Momma said that she need not apologize
it wasn't her fault. Those two are good.  But the daughter better keep a
low profile for a few weeks.  Sorry it a long story but we are long
winded hounds, just ask our neighbors. Lol...oh yeah fire not coming out
of mommas nose any more but those eyes still pretty dark and the
birthmark is dark red now.  Love and drool to all Ruger out. Now where
is that wine and corkscrew at? Colt get the wine, momma still need to be
cooled down a little.