[Dailydrool] Squirrels on the Senior HoundsAbound calendar? And fat pads.

[Val Brewer]

This is Bo, Commander in Chief of the Pacific Basset Feet

I think we need to increase enemy identification training. Miss Wendie says that 
squirrelistans have infiltrated the Senior Houndsabound calendar. PBF members 
should order a calendar to verify or disprove this intelligence. And last night, 
my very own brother, Lt. Harley, mistook a Rattailaban operative in our home for 
a puppy! Mom has seen "Mr. Brown" several times in our house and has been 
nagging Dad to set the have-a-heart trap and begin his Rattailaban relocation 
effort, but Dad is a procrastinator and always says "tomorrow". So, last night 
while Mom and Dad were watching television, Mr. Brown ran right across the floor 
and under the sofa mom was sitting on. Lt. Harley saw him and jumped up wagging 
his tail a mile a minute the way he does around puppies or people he positively 
adores, and lay down with his nose under the sofa wagging his tail in joy. "Come 
play with me, puppy!" When Lt. Harley finally stopped wagging his tail and 
looked sad, Mom knew Mr. Brown had vacated the premises. C'mon troops. Time to 
rally.

And on another note: Lt. Harley has managed to retain his studly attributes. 
Since coming to live with us, it has been recommended that Lt. Harley be 
neutered, as he has had an unusually large, uh, "package"--think orange size 
extending to his hind knees. Once Mom was stopped on the street when walking Lt. 
Harley and myself by some twentysomething soldiers in town with cameras. They 
enthusiastically inquired, "Oh, ma'am, may we take a picture of your dogs?" "Why 
certainly", smiled old lady mama, proud of her cute bassets. The soldiers 
proceeded to get down on their stomachs and shoot photos of Lt. Harley from 
rear, chuckling, "Wait until the guys see this". But I digress. Lt. Harley's 
surgery has been scheduled twice, and twice (two different occasions; two 
different surgeons) the vet has called in sick that day and cancelled. Lt. 
Harley suspects the surgeons took mental health days, not wanting to tamper with 
perfection. But this week Lt. Harley's charisma wore out and the deed was done. 
But get a load of this--Lt. Harley post surgery, sans gonads, is expected to 
look exactly the same (!) The vet discovered that genetically, Lt. Harley has 
been endowed with "fat pads" in his purse, not unlike breast implants. The vet 
removed his gonads but left the fat pads. ("Im fat where?"). We mentioned the 
above to our friend, Lisa, and she replied, "Well, don't tell those soldiers if 
you meet them again. They will want to know where to get such things". So that's 
our story today. Semper fido, everyone. Order your Sr. Houndsabound calendars 
and don't forget that Auntie Chris still has PBF cards avaible. Aloha, Bo, 
CICPBF 


      
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