[Dailydrool] Kissing Huckleberry

[Margaret Honnold]

THE KISS     or
(What wishing you “Snooters” Really Means)
BY Maggie Honnold
 
Huck, my Basset boyfriend, will come to sit upon my knee
And get right down to business for he’s in love with me.
He takes his great big paws; he does, and puts them on my chest
And he opens up his snout and with his tongue starts to caress.
 
I holler “help” but no one comes, for my family thinks it’s funny,
To see that Huckleberry Hound is sitting on my tummy.
60 pounds of Basset has me pinned right to my chair
And of this lap of Basset, I have learned I must beware.
 
I hold my breath, my head goes back but I’m not out of reach
For that foot long tongue just follows me, its contact I can’t breach.
Then, my chin gets wet, my tee shirt too as drool begins to drip
He has me now, right where he wants, I am in his grip.
 
Gasping slight, I turn my head from right to left and back
But it does no good for on my lips he places a large smack.
Up and down his tongue does go; it darts back and forth,
Into one nostril it penetrates, there are buggers there no more.
 
Oh, I fear what’s coming next for it has happened once before
I try again to hold my breath, as  his tongue comes back for more.
And then it happens as I yell “stop”, his tongue comes boldly in
Where no man’s tread for years and years, the process then begins.
 
He rubs my lips, he feels my teeth, and my tonsils try to hide
But the onward plunge continues, as in my mouth that tongue abides.
Deeper, deeper down it goes, it slides and slips around
No space within my mouth is safe, where Huck’s tongue cannot be found.
 
I start to cough and sputtering I sit up in the chair
His tongue comes out, I take a breath, but now he’s in my hair.
My bangs he licks, my eyebrows too, my glasses sit askew
But I really love my Basset Boy, so what’s a girl to do?
 
Finally I push him off and he looks at me so sad
His eyes say “mom I love you, is kissing me so bad?”
I’m just a loving Basset Boy asking nothing in return
But a kiss to plant upon you and have it not be spurned.
 
For Basset love, my special kind, I wear upon my sleeve
And kisses given just to you are so that you’ll believe.
 
Basset Snooters are the BEST, just deal with it Mom!
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