[Dailydrool] A letter to God from the Dog

[Bonnie Bostelman]

Dear God:

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a 
good dog.

1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it! 
up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like 
the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 
"hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee 
table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not 
after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that 
noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?