[Dailydrool] A Basset Guide to Early Mornings

[Rebecca Stanton]

1 Shake loudly in the middle of the slaves bedroom when you wish to have your 
breakfast. It never fails to wake them.  The fact that it has only just got 
light is irrelevant.
2 Slave will say 4.30am is too early and usually shouts this from the bed before 
getting up and pointing you back at your duvet. Go along with this initially.
3 Wait about 2 mins until slave has settled back into bed and shoot down the 
stairs before she can stop you. It is important that you refuse to go out to do 
your business last thing the night before - that way, the slave will have to 
follow you downstairs as she will be worried you want to pee. You  may want to, 
of course, but hold that thought - there are more important issues first - i.e. 
breakfast.
4 Slave will now have appeared on the scene and will be muttering, take no 
notice of this. Breakfast should be ready fairly quickly as, after all, you want 
to get back to bed as soon as possible.  Sleep is very important!
5 Go out in the garden after, and do your business.  Have a scratch and a sit 
down, breathe in the air. Ignore slave at back door, steaming up window and 
waving arms about. Just relax, its very early.
6 Finally come in and head upstairs. But wait - how about that bone you had the 
night before - you could take that up with you too - pay no heed to protests of 
slave - 

7 Arrive back upstairs with bone  (ignore dadslave who is complaining about the 
noise) and have a good old chew. Ignore slaves who are whining about not being 
able to get back to sleep etc.  There's no rush for you though - what do you 
have to get up for?
8 After a while, and after playing the game of drop the bone, fetch etc (doesn't 
matter if its a little loud on the floor), finally you will begin to feel a 
little tired, so go back to sleep - it's now nearly 6am - and within a few 
seconds you will be snoring happily.  Before you do settle down though, give the 
slaves a cold stare if needed - all their muttering and complaining is keeping 
you awake, and us hounds really need our sleep.

Becky, Morse and Pumbaa ATB
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