[Dailydrool] Strange Malfunction

[Beverly Szaton]

Tim,
I knew when I saw the word "ramp" that you were doomed.


I have a strange personal affliction. I guess now is as good a time as any
to say something about it.
I fall a lot, stumble, trip.
I don't what causes it. The ground seems to heave up and move at strange
times, such as when I step back from the kitchen counter to get something
out of the fridge and suddenly the floor  seems to... this is
embarrassing...seems to...have a LUMP on it that MOVES! But not when I do,
only afterwards and then the lump seems to gravitate toward whatever has
flown into the air from my hands onto the floor!
Or when I turn around after talking to someone and BOOM! there I am, flat
on my heavily padded ass because the carpet rises in waves and grabs my
feet.
Or, the worst--when I am walking the dog-- oh yes, I have Bassets, did I
forget to mention that?-- and I take a step and suddenly the sidewalk has a
large bump in it that I did not see a half second before and WHAMMO I am on
my face watching the dog saunter on down the walk.
Well I don't know what causes this. Obviously it is some rare neurological
deficit. I wasn't born with it, I have acquired it.
Maybe --- I don't know-- maybe my bouts of running around the backyard at 5
a.m in my jammies screaming obscenities at the dogs who have my clean
(formerly clean) underwear is related to this.
I wonder if there is a pill for it.....

MomPerson to Nigel, Llewis, OOOPS!! Shoot. see? There I go tripping again!
Conley, and Cooper
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