[Dailydrool] Violeta and apologies

[Virginia Oliveira]

Dear friends

First I would like to thank all of you who have written me about  Violeta's diarrhea. I really don't mind cleaning the floor, cleaning her "tailpipe" as da Brudder would call, I don't mind doing anything at all for her. But when her dadslave, my "ex", for those who doesn't know, comes to pick her up and tells me it is he diuretic that sometimes cause it, then he drove me very angry. If he had said that, I would try to find something that would make this bad side effect go away, since she cannot stop taking it. But he simply did't care much about her, or he would have told me that. That's my conclusion.

He simply thinks in himself first, second, third, then comes the being- I like to believe- he cares more in his life, our Violeta. I regret a lot to have left her with him when we separated, but I could not find an Calgary Housing  - affordable housing-  place, that would also be wheelchair accessible that would take dogs. And she lived there, in the house, since she was a baby, she and Xaxa made good company to each other,had a big backyard, it just seems not only wrong, but also impossible for me to care for both of them since at that time I was unemployed, still looking for a job.

So for a long time it was a good arrangement, since I could visit them both in the house. But since the beginning of this year, he does not allow me to visit her there anymore. He could only bring her downstairs here in my building to "see" her for some minutes, and them they would go away. So I had decided to stop seeing her, to " pretend" to myself that she was already in heaven with her brother, Xaxa. 
To my surprise, two weeks after my decision, my building became allowed for animals to "visit" in here, not live, but visit. So I decided to bring her here sometimes, but noticed that more than 2 days was too much for her 11 year old mind. She is blind, what makes her difficult to figure the apartment out. This past Monday was a holiday here in Canada so he asked if I would stay with her, since I was asking him to leave her here for a sleepover. I was happy about her.

But then she started to have diarrhea, and I would never think it would be a bad side effect of the diuretic she is on (and two more meds, all for her heart). I had written many, many times, because he said " he might be able to get email" wherever he was going...well, it ends up he didn't go ANYWHERE! He was comfortably at home, what made me even madder at him.
So, until Violeta is alive, I will need to put up with him, otherwise I wouldn't be able to see her anymore. I don't doubt he loves her very much as he did love Xaxa. When Xaxa was really sick, he even got drunk, something I had never seen in the 13 years I had known him. And after Xaxa's passing he was extremely down and couldn't talk about it without crying. Me either, for that matter. Only now, 2 and 1/2 years, I can talk about it without crying.

So, that's my predicament, and I just pray Violeta is better, because I asked him, so maybe in two days he will answer my email - no, no phone anymore. He does not answer it. That's the guy I even thought was a very good-hearted person. Women can be so dumb sometimes...But even the guys who used to work with him found him nice, because he pretended so well...

So I thank you all for your hints and advices. You guys are wonderful. And I am sorry to those who wrote me when Xaxa went to heaven. I couldn't even read the emails, it was so hard...But most of you know what it feels to lose one you love. God knows how difficult it is, but thanks God it gets easier. But I would rescue Xaxa all over again, because the pain of losing him couldn't even compare to all the years he gave us of sheer happiness and laughs or simple love, just knowing he was there was enough, more then enough.

And I thank Laurie Magorel  for having asked me to be the "rescue person" of Calgary. It was a little hard, but I got my Xaxa, the gentleman basset who got a rosette for being " the oldest basset" in our basset hound olympics, here in Calgary. I  am no longer in rescue. The depression I had after leaving them behind and so many other problems made me too sensitive to deal with it. But two wonderful girls took over and made it a real rescue and are doing wonders for abandoned and neglected bassets, and for me, it is quite a relief, to know things are being done for those who need.

That's it. In  a nutshell, I would say. A very big nut...

Thank you all so much,

(Miriam) Virginia Oliveira

Devoted mom to Violeta and Xaxa (in heaven).