[Dailydrool] oh, no she didn't...

[Wilder, Sharon]

"Clyde, Gracie get in here! Gracie, the mail just came and you got a package in a plain brown wrapper.  It's from Auntie Renee Grant.  Were you expecting something?" "Not I", replied Gracie. "What do you suppose it is?" Clyde asked.  "How would I know?  Here Gracie, open it up." Gracie carefully pulls back a corner of the paper with her mouth. Clyde reads,"Flex...ees.  I mean Flexees.  Ummm, Huggie what are Flexees?" How on earth would I know Clyde?  Gracie, what does the package say?" "Hmmm, 'Instantly slimming! Our Fat Free Dressing(r) Hi-Waist Brief secretly slims, shapes, and smoothes your body!' It's a girdle!  I can't believe she sent me a girdle!  Wait-there's a note Clyde.  What does it say?" "Dear Gracie Allen, I have noticed there is some concern about whether or not you will fit into Queen XB's dress for the Waddle.  I believe that these Flexees might help your 'wee' problem.  Please wear them in good health. Love, Auntie Renee." "OMD, Gracie this is too funny!" Huggie exclaims while rolling on the floor laughing.   Clyde has pulled the Flexees out of the package and holds them up, "Gosh, do you think they'll fit?  They look awfully small." Gracie is now understandably ticked off, "All right you two. Huggie Bear-you stop laughing at me and Clyde-stop waving the Flexees around.  This is SO embarrassing! Give them to me! Hmmm, they do seem very stretchy. I wonder if they really work? You two-stop clowning around and help me get them on!"  Huggie Bear grabs one side of the waistband and Clyde grabs the other side and they puuulll. Wow!  Look at that! Who would have believed they'd stretch THAT much? Gracie, come over here. Clyde-come round behind her it you can't put them over her head!"  Gracie moves in between Clyde and Huggie and lifts up her right back foot.  Huggie Bear slips the leg opening of the Flexees onto her leg. "Alright Clyde, slide your side over her other leg.  Okay now, pull sideways and then up towards her head. Yikes!  Gracie suck it in!  Do you think this is easy?"  " "Ugh, Huggie-too tight too tight!  Stop!  Wait-your crunching my tail!"  Clyde and Huggie stop with the Flexees halfway to Gracies mid-section. "Ow, Huggie! " "Shhhh...give me a second.  We're going to have to cut a hole for your tail. Clyde, grab a box cutter!" Gracie yells, "Oh no-you are NOT touching me with a box cutter!"  "Fine! Clyde-get the scissors!." "No!" Gracie roars. "Oh, oh...what's happening? Ooh, that feels weird." Gracie's eyes get wide and she said,"It feels like they're moving all by themselves".  "Clyde, watch out-she's gonna' blow!"  Huggie yells and runs to the side of the room as the Flexees contract and roll relentlessly back toward Gracie's butt. Luckily for Clyde, since he forgot to run in all the confusion, the Flexees end up puddled around Gracie's feet. Without a word Gracie removes one foot and then the other from the Flexees and stalks upstairs with as much dignity as possible while Huggie Bear again rolls on the floor laughing. "Ummm Huggie, is it time?" "Time for what, Clyde?" "Time to remind people about the Two Old Queen's Woofle we are doing to honor the memory of Queen Xandy Bear which closes this Sunday, May 12 at midnight. All money raised will go to the homeless hounds of Michigan Basset Rescue.  Please buy tickets for some great items!

www.xandy.moonfruit.com


***Note address and fax number as of 5/20/2011***
1639 Route 10 East
Suite 200
Parsippany, NJ 07054

Phone: 973-656-6121
Fax:  973-461-4488

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.dailydrool.org/pipermail/dailydrool-dailydrool.org/attachments/20130509/5b960fbf/attachment-0001.htm>