[Dailydrool] I can't believe I ate the whole thing

[Dale Rutz]

Hi all, Snoopy here,
 
Where are all the bassets anyway?  I've seen a post from Harrison recently, and I believe Conley too ..... but there have been mighty few basset posts of late, I hope everybody is ok.
 
As for me I am on the mend.  Almost landed myself down at the emergency vets office last night.  Again.  For those of you who don't have GasX and/or Simethicone on hand at all times, this is your wake up call.  Here is what happened:
 
Yesterday was Tuesday.  Tuesdays are glorious here at my home.  We wake up the clueless momPerson around 3:30 AM on Tuesdays (Gracie always knows when it's Tuesday) because that is the day the housekeeper comes.  And so, starting at 3:30 am on Tuesday, we can get under the covers.  Yes, yes, yes we are allowed on the sheets on Tuesday mornings .... we all climb down under there and have a snuggle fest ..... it's most awesome.  And then everyone leaves for work and school and places and the housekeeper and her daughter come and they hand out TREATS!!!  So we get sheets, then visitors and treats what could be better?  Well, I'll tell you what could be better ........ when they leave they could leave the door to the man cave NOT COMPLETELY closed.  And they did.
 
Well, as curator of missing objects I felt duty bound to identify (and curate) any missing objects which might be in the man cave.  And wouldn't you know it after I pushed the door open and got out there it closed and I couldn't get back into the house.  What to do, what to do ..... don't want to starve .... no one is home ..... say .... is that my food bin?  Why glory be yes it is, my food bin and it's full too.  A bit tough to tip over and that lid is tight .... ah well ... a few hours to work on it and by the time dadPerson came home I was laying in a pile of kibble.  Still eating.  And round.  VERY round.  He gave me a GasX and decided his best course of action was to not tell momPerson.
 
So then momPerson came home from work around 6 hours later and asked if he'd had any trouble with the hounds.  Errrrrrrrr .... why ..... no, not really .... how was YOUR day?  So she went out into the man cave and came back in and asked if he knew why there was kibble on the floor.  Darn!  Thought he got it all cleaned up.  So he told on me.  I didn't get dinner.  I was fairly round but I was mobile so we went for a walk and I peed and I pooped and I seemed ok.  She kept her eye on me all evening till she took her shower (of course) ... there is a dear lady right here on this drool who can tell you how much that can change over the course of a shower ... anyway she came out of the shower and I was laying on my back on the couch and I couldn't roll over and my tummy looked like I'd just swallowed a basket ball.  She screamed.  I screamed.  She went charging down the hall and came charging back with 2 extra strength GasX which I could just
 barely chew up and swallow (made it onto my side to do it) .... and then she tried to help me turn over and I screamed again and threatened to eat her.  She was trying to figure out how she was going to get me to the car when I rolled and burped all in one movement .... a HUGE STINKY burp.  And then I jumped down off of the couch and felt better and belched again and then I farted.  She literally watched the air drain out of the basket ball before her eyes.  So then she ran back down the hall and came back with two more GasX which I ate.  Then we went around the block on lead to see if she could get things moving and I pooped about every other house.  She came back with a shopping bag full.  I also peed a river (dadPerson didn't know to take the water bowl up).
 
So then we came home and I had to sit next to her until morning.  Every second.  We went outside to poop 3 times in 45 minutes in the middle of the night.  WE.  Apparently I couldn't even go potty unsupervised.  How humiliating.
 
Anyway I am much better today and had a 2/3 breakfast and am sunning myself and other than snarking at Gracie this morning (which I haven't done for months but my tummy is still a bit sore) I am almost back to normal.
 
More later from Snoopy who scared the clueless momPerson to death last night.
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