[Dailydrool] MOthers

[Beverly Szaton]

Snoopy (and all the rest of you too)
Mothers sign a contact at the very beginning, in fact before the beginning
that is like a jillion pages long and all in fine print and on that real
thin paper.
They do this for people babies but it applies across the board to any small
helpless thing they may encounter in their lives including sometimes
husbands. But always Basset Hounds.
It has stuff in it that you cannot imagine. Like making the house smell
good and controlling the reproduction of dust bunnies and it used to be
much much worse, and include making soap and cleaning the chicken coop.

But anyway one of the sections says that when a doctor or Vetperson says
YOU DO THIS, well then, YOU DO THAT, whether the patient understands why or
not. The worst part is that these VetPeople often issue these orders
without ever having to enforce them because they have people at home to do
it or people in the kennel who do it and they are busy issuing other
impossible orders like KEEP THIS 12 WEEK OLD PUPPY QUIET FOR THREE WEEKS
and DONT LET THIS DOG ON THE FURNITURE OR STAIRS.
But it is right there in the contract that we clueless ones signed years
ago and so we have to comply, or try, even if it seems stupid and crazy.

And at the bottom of the contract is the line most Mothers miss because by
then they are exhausted reading the damn thing and it says:
"Once you are a Mother you are always a Mother and you may not stop being a
Mother no matter what and all small creatures are your children and you
thought this was just until they were grown up and it never ends
Bwaaaaaahahahahahaahahahahah."
And the addendum says:
"You must answer the phone at 3 a.m. because you are a Mother."
and the one after that says
"Basset hounds with bad backs must not be allowed to jump onto furniture
whether they like it or not, lots of luck on that one."

So see, Snoopy, she has no choice because someplace, put away in a drawer,
is that contract. And even if she hadn't signed it, she's a Mother.

MomPerson, who signed one too.
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