[Dailydrool] after they are gone

[Donna Lindy via Dailydrool]

This was a very timely post for me, having just lost our
sweet Bosley - our 7th hound to go to the Bridge, the 4th
in the last 6 years and the 3rd one to travel away from
us in the month of June.  It doesn’t get easier. Each
hound is special in his or her own way, yet the grieving
process is pretty much the same.  The sun shines too
brightly and you want to tell the world to stop, that a 
precious being is now missing from your life and you
need some time to get used to your new status of being
a mom to one less hound. You’ve lost part of who you are.
And the tears come, not just when you see something of the 
dog’s but sometimes at the oddest moments.  Do what is 
comfortable for you - I know people who leave their dog’s bed 
in place, some who pack or give things away almost immediately 
and others who sleep with the dog’s collar or blankie. There’s no 
right or wrong here.

As far as things go, we have a tote bag in the front hall closet 
for leashes and harnesses so we know where to find it when
we need to see it or until we need to use it for another hound.
Collars usually stay with their ashes although Miss Pauline
loved to ride in the car so her collar goes with me in my car
everywhere I go. Some of our hounds have a decorated paint
can (wonderfully done by a Drooler) and those hounds
have their ashes, collar, bandana with their name on it,
a favorite toy and other mementos in them.  Some things
are reused by another hound at whatever point we feel
we can do that.  I put away things like Bosley’s pee 
basket of towels (he was incontinent) because it’s too
much of a reminder and I rearrange dog beds so I don’t
expect to see the hound in his or her favorite spot.  But
I also expect to have the pain and the tears because I
believe that it’s a measure of how much love you and
the dog shared. I don’t have to tell any of you about the
grief - you know it all too well.

What gives me great peace, though, is my memory garden
I have for my hounds. Today I picked up Bosley’s ashes
and his river stone for the garden - the 6th stone (my first
two bassets were litter mates and share one stone) will be
added to the garden tonight.  Every year I plant some flowers
along with the ground covers I have there and there are a
couple of hound statues to keep watch and a stone with 
a saying about those we hold in our hearts forever.  It’s 
simple and serene and a reminder of the hounds that used
to roam the yard where it’s located. I will try to get a picture
tomorrow and post a link if anyone would like to see it. 

I also find comfort in making a photo book or scrapbook
of the dog but it’s not something I can do right away.  And 
friends send keepsakes - I have received an ear rock for 
several of my hounds (a smooth rock in the shape of a basset
ear); these stay on my desk where I can touch them and 
remember my hounds, I have some beautiful glass hearts
given to me by another friend and pillows with pictures of
my hounds that I can take to bed with me for a while and
feel like I can hug my hound again.  The people on this
list understand and are amazingly supportive - it’s one of
the things I’ve always loved about the Drool and I fear the
day when we might not have this place to go and share 
our sorrow and our happy news.  Most of us rarely post
any more and I wish that would change. I’m as guilty
as everyone else.  So maybe this is something we could
all do to honor our hounds - tell those hound stories and
memories again.  I’m going to try and I hope you will, too.

Donna, drool fueler to just Sunny and Maggie now and
without a boy houndie for the first time in 29 1/2 years

dlindy at mac.com