[Dailydrool] Young Charlie's Nebberminds, Part II

[Elizabeth]

How did this problem happen? It seems that the entrance to the internal part of Charlie’s nebberminds is rather small. The vet told me this can also happen to human babies whose nebberminds aren’t gently stretched as part of post-circumcision care. So now I’m wondering if this is another consequence of Charlie’s first family having had him neutered at the tender age of just four months. If they’d waited until he was older, would this part of his nebberminds be a more normal size and thus less prone to dryness? An unanswerable question, that.

 

It may also be age related. As we age, our bodies become less adept at hanging onto moisture. The cushioning disks between our vertebrae, for example, become less hydrated when we’re seniors. The same can hold true for nebberminds. Since this is about Charlie, I won’t explore any further the effects of increasing dehydration in aging humans. Suffice it to say, we older ones should all drink more water and seek professional medical advice when we realize we’re feeling dry and itchy in ways we never have before.

 

Charlie’s regular vet called me later to say we may need to also consider a lumbar problem as being a possible cause for his excessive licking. It could be that the nerves that make things happen in that particular part of his body are giving his nebberminds an unusual feeling. Perhaps he’s feeling pins and needles or even numb? Perhaps licking is his attempt to try to make that area feel normal again? She said lumbar problems can sometimes be the cause of erectile dysfunction in humans. This isn’t something Charlie wastes time worrying about, but I’m working on getting him an appointment with his doggy chiropractor to investigate spinal issues that may be affecting nerve function in that particular region. He’s due for an adjustment anyway.

 

In the meantime, I’m to use an antiseptic solution to flush out Charlie’s nebberminds once a day. This makes me feel like I’m playing Junior Chemist, adding one part Chlorhexidine to nine parts water (“it should be a lovely sky blue color”) and mixing thoroughly before drawing it all up into a jumbo needleless syringe and sticking it where one doesn’t ordinarily stick a jumbo syringe. Then I’m supposed to squish the solution around inside him, rather like one does when using a cleansing solution in a hound’s ears. Finally, I’m to massage the area to encourage the solution to exit his body onto some paper towels so he doesn’t end up dribbling it all over the house for the next half hour.

 

Flushing out his nebberminds is a rather distasteful thing for both of us, but we’ve both committed to it with good grace. I work on not making too many off-color jokes at Charlie’s expense, and he lies quietly on his side and allows me to insert and deploy a syringe full of cold fluid where no dog would want a syringe inserted and deployed. His acquiescence makes me wonder if the fluid actually feels soothing to an irritated area. I do know that both evenings I’ve done this for him, he’s made it through the night without licking himself even once.

 

Charlie is currently getting a break from this daily exercise in indignity. The friend who is caring for him in her home loves him but has decided she’d rather not take her relationship with him to that level. I certainly understand, and the vet says Charlie will be fine without having his nebberminds flushed out for a few weeks. And this must be so, because my friend has reported that, since his last flushing out on Saturday morning, Charlie’s been leaving his nebberminds alone thus far. Now if only he’d leave her cats alone as well . . . and get out of the leather recliner he considers his chair when she wants to sit on it.

 

This is the first doggie health condition I haven’t felt comfortable bringing up over punch and cookies at church fellowship hour when someone asks how things are going with the dogs. With our late Jane Basset, I could talk without any embarrassment about chronic ear infections, TECAs (total ear canal ablation surgery), and ruptured disks. With our late Elsinore Basset (it’s still hard to write “late” before her name) I would see empathetic nods when I spoke of her two strokes and rehab therapy on an underwater treadmill. But young Charlie has taken me into the realm of unmentionable health problems, problems one really shouldn’t discuss in public. Thus I am even more grateful for the Drool, where I can share this unwanted development in his aging process with people who can commiserate without blushing.

 

Elizabeth (let’s make Chuck Berry’s “My Ding-a-Ling” your theme song now)

Young Charlie (hey, you said you wouldn’t make any jokes about this)


 
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