[Dailydrool] Miss Angela on sleeping arrangements

[bjenk1 at cox.net]

Bill here, press agent/personal trainer to Miss Angela Basset, Droop and Drool Diva of Wichita and Sedgwick County

Miss Angela declares:    
"I am shocked!  Shocked, I tell you, about the number of hounds that are expected to sleep with their humans.  Is there no decency in the twenty first century?  I may occasionally sleep on the couch and allow Bill to sit quietly by, providing continuous skritches and strokes. I frequently climb up into his lap on the big chair in front of the TV and take a nap.  When it is time for serious retiring, however, I repair to my room/the kitchen for the night.  Bill is then dismissed to go upstairs to his quarters.  

I have many reasons for this.  (1) The food is in my room/the kitchen.  Also the water.  (2) Bill snores.  At least he does when he falls asleep watching TV.  He claims that he has a machine upstairs that prevents that, but I would have to see it to believe it.  Of course, he claims that I snore magnificently and often run in my sleep, but that is just how I sleep.  Get over it.  (3)  Bill takes his shower in the morning.  By evening, he offends my discriminating olfactory sensors.  I haven't mentioned that to him yet.   (4) Bill does not wear much at night.  Frequently his birthday suit and his nightwear are one and the same.  I simply don't want to risk coming in contact with his gross and sweaty parts.  We don't even want to talk about morning wood.   

Anyway, when I decide that it is time for serious sleep, Bill takes me out, gives me a late night treat, and then I go into my room.  I have trained him to put up the baby gate to protect me should he sleepwalk.  This arrangement has evolved over the five years that I have lived here.  

Miss Angela (lunch is over so it's time for my early afternoon nap)
Bill (Jeez, Angie, can't we have anything that is left unsaid?)