[Dailydrool] Lip warts

[Elizabeth Lindsey]

Well, the vet has declared that our Elsinore has lip warts.  
Fortunately, she has such a healthy self-esteem and is so secure that  
she couldn't care less that I'm announcing this  less-than-savory  
condition to everyone on the Drool. I'm greatly relieved that it's  
nothing more serious than lip warts, though part of me wishes she had  
something less likely to cause people to snicker when they hear about  
it. It's not something, for instance, I think I'll want to share in  
our annual holiday letter: "This year our Elsinore came down with a  
nasty case of lip warts."

The vet said the warts are caused by a virus but no one knows how or  
why dogs pick up this kind of virus. Thankfully, since no one knows  
exactly how canine lip warts are spread, Elsinore can't really be  
considered a public health nuisance, which means we don't need to  
quarantine her. Being quarantined would have devastated her because  
she just lives for her dance lessons anymore.

The vet also said he's discovered that warts, on both people and  
animals, go away if you have one or two B12 shots. Apparently he  
stumbled across this "cure" when watching his father-in-law get B12  
shots to help with a neurological condition. The shots did nothing  
for the neurological condition, but he noticed that the warts on his  
father-in-law's chest were gone the day after the first B12 shot. A  
few came back and a second shot the next week got them for good. The  
vet said he then tried giving B12 shots to animals that came in with  
warts and their warts all disappeared very soon afterwards. So he  
gave Elsinore a B12 shot.

I don't know if it'll work or not, but a B12 shot can't hurt  
anything. I told the vet that as a back-up to his "cure," I'll take  
our Elsinore outside on a night with a full moon, wave a chicken foot  
around her jowls, and chant some mystical-sounding phrases. Between  
that and the B12, her lip warts should be gone in no time. And then,  
lucky dog, she'll get to return to the vet to have her teeth cleaned.  
Isn't it nice to have things like that to look forward to? I've told  
her not to complain to me about it because I'm now starting week  
three of an unpleasant root canal and crowns procedure. At least  
she'll get to be knocked out completely for her dental work.

Elizabeth