[Dailydrool] Humphrey

[sally king]

Humphrey Ol' man,
This is Rolph in the UK. I am a proud member of the OEBE and I hear, although you are still a buppy, your mom thinks you should be in the club because then you'll ease up on your antics.
Bwahahahahahahaha. That is really funny.
All that happens by the time you are admitted to the special circle, is, that your mom has got so used to you being a one-dog destruction unit, she doesn't want to bore all the other droolers by listing every one of your evul deeds.
But we never give up. Why, in the past week alone I have:
*Stolen a bacon sarni
*chewed up two socks belonging to a visitor who didn't know not to leave them in my reach (but I am on a health kick, I didn't swallow them this time). 
* Went down a school bag and chewed up the contents of a pencil case
* stole, ran around with, and made holes in, two pairs of sandals 
* Hid in my mom's bed under the covers (and I not even allowed ON the top)
* Stolen the last tomatoes off the plants in the garden
* and the ones ripening in the house on the windowsill
*Slipped past my gran and auntie and ran off down the road to the drive where they leave out bread for starving bassets
*And eaten a mouldy sandwich, and its plastic bag, which I found when out on a walk.

By the way Humphrey, I think I should give you another piece of advice - I think your dad is a camera operator, like my two-leg sister. Now don't tell him I told you, but those foam-covered microphones are really, really tasty. They beat designer glasses ANY day of the week.

Bwahahahaha
Rolph, OEBE Director of Evil, UK

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