[Dailydrool] My Blueberry ATB -- one year ago today

[Hinchliffe at aol.com]

It doesn't seem possible.  It's been a year since I said goodbye to my  
sweet Blueberry, my Berry girl, my big, soft armful of funny,  snuggly, 
cheeseburger-loving devotion.  A year of grief and loss  and emptiness, and then as 
time started to heal a little, the return of  cherished memories that could 
bring a smile instead of an ache.
 
A lasting treasure from this year that I'll always carry with me has been  
the amazing love, understanding, and caring support from my Daily Drool  
family.  You buoyed me with your words, your thoughts, your prayers, your  
friendship.  That first terrible night, when I couldn't sleep and felt I  
couldn't even breathe, I turned on my computer and found more than two dozen  
e-mails waiting for me (I had posted to the Drool that afternoon) -- touching,  
moving messages that became my life preserver.  I read them over and over,  
sometimes having to pause because I could no longer see the monitor through 
my  tears.  The thoughtfulness that went into the writing of each one was a  
true gift.  You knew exactly what I needed.
 
And in the following days, when the dark cloud would not lift, more e-mails 
 poured in.  And beautiful snail mail cards, and notices of donations in 
her  memory to rescue groups, and presents (a Home Depot gift certificate to 
buy  a blueberry bush; an exquisite wooden statue of an angel holding a  
puppy).
 
I don't know how I would have made it through without all of you.   Your 
love wrapped around me in a protective embrace.  I printed out every  e-mail 
and read them over and over.  (I still do, because the grief  continues to 
hit in waves.)  I made a scrapbook with every card.
 
She was such a special little girl, and it moves me greatly to feel that  
she has touched others -- people who she never met, but who felt as if they 
knew  her through the Daily Drool.
 
One year since I held her in my arms.  But never a moment that I have  not 
held her in my heart.  And that's where I hold all of you, too.
 
Thanks again to all of you, my lifeline and family.  Please remember  
Blueberry today -- her eager face, thumping tail, love of every minute of  every 
day, and the way she always had to be touching me somehow, pressed in  
against my side while we slept, co-piloting the car with her chin on my knee,  
and on my lap while I worked (I put my computer desk up to the couch so there  
would be room).  And please give your babies extra hugs today from their  
Auntie Beth.
 
Love,
Beth (Duchess ATB and Blueberry ATB)  
---------------------------------------
For Duchess and  Blueberry:  "You have gone ahead and nothing is the same, 
leaving paw  prints on my heart that will always remain." 
-- Tibetan Proverb from Prayers  on the Wind

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