[Dailydrool] Wonder if this is normal

[Pamela McQuade]

I think it is normal to sort of compare a new dog to the dog whom you've lost. You have a deep connection and many memories of your previous hounds. Those thoughts and feelings will not disappear because you bring another dog into your home.

When we got Abner, we'd only been without our Alexis for a short time. The house felt so empty without her, so we fostered Abs. It was impossible to fail to compare them. And Abs reminded me very much of Lex. Sometimes I did feel conflicted about his "taking her place," but I went on with him, and we became attached in a new and different way from the way I'd loved Alexis; Abs needed me in ways that Lex never did. No dog can ever take the place of another because each is very special. Abs was a different dog, though it took a while for me to appreciate that.

I'd also like to say that the sweetness you first see in a dog may be a willingness to please. In time, as you have this new hound, you will begin to see the real dog. Just like people, once they feel secure, dogs are more willing to show their true selves. You may find out you have a real character on your hands when Hunter is more comfortable with you.

Give it time, and you may find that you love this hound as deeply as your other two. Getting a dog after a loss is different from simply getting another hound when the ones you love are fine. "Replacing" a dog brings up all kinds of emotions you may not have dealt with yet. That doesn't mean the new dog is not the right one for you.

One of the ways I dealt with the loss was to tell the new dog all about the former one. It's like giving a family history, so the dog will know about those who came before. I often tell foster Holly about how much she reminds me of Alexis--in a good way, because Alexis was a very good girl.

All the best for both you and Hunter.
Pam, food slave to the Dashing Bassets
Lady Jane & Belvedere & Alexis Thefairyprincess (ATB) & Abner Ahrooo (ATB)
with Holly the foster