[Dailydrool] Happy Birthday to Rosie, ATB

[Anita Sacrey]

Hi Droolers,
Tomorrow (11/28) would have been Rosie’s 9th
birthday.  My heart still hurts from
losing her at age 8 ½, really at the prime of her life.  It is very, very hard to accept losing one
when it is not their time.  It’s easy to
be resentful that they didn’t get to live out a full lifespan.  I never fully realized how much different it
would feel to lose one at a younger age, compared to losing an older dog.  Even so, all losses are hard.


There hasn’t been a day go by since April 21, 2011, that I
haven’t grieved over her loss.  Yes, I’ve
lost dogs before, but it was always their time to go and somehow that made it
easier to accept – still painful – but acceptable.  


I’ve spent hours questioning why Rosie had to go so soon,
and was there anything else I could have done to help her stay here
longer.  The “what-ifs” have certainly
plagued me in recent months, and I’ve lost many hours of sleep over them.  However, I’ve learned that the “what-ifs” don’t
bring Rosie back, nor are they helpful to any of the other dogs, the people in
my life, or myself for that matter.  More
importantly, that’s not what Rosie would have wanted for me.


Anyone who knew Rosie realized that she lived in the moment,
and she made the most out of every minute she was alive.  She was the most confident dog I’ve ever had,
and she had a certain presence that caused all attention to be drawn to her
when she entered a room or the agility ring.  If she made a mistake in the agility ring, she blew it off and went on with her agenda.  Mistakes never bothered her. She even had her own fan club that watched all of her runs at agility
trials.  She modeled for me the character
assets that I want for myself – living in the moment, being happy with all that
is right now, self-acceptance, complete self-confidence. 



In the interest of carrying out these traits that Rosie
taught and modeled for me, I have started moving on and accepting that it will
be ok without Rosie’s physical presence. 
I don’t think I will ever get over her loss, but it would be an insult
to her memory if I stayed in a place of self-pity and self-doubt.  Those characteristics were just not part of
who Rosie was, so they don’t need to be in my life either.


I’ve started focusing on the gratitude I have for the 8 ½
wonderful years with Rosie.  As a way of
expressing that gratitude, John and I have opened our hearts and home to a
little rescue houndy girl.  She's a mini dachshund,
not a basset, and not what I ever expected Rosie to send our way.  Penny was an 8-pound stray who survived several weeks outside on her own, and is thus a very intelligent and resourceful hound.  The timing worked just right, in that I had to run into Petsmart that Saturday morning for dog food when I saw one of my friends with rescue walking this little mini-doxie around the store.  I offered to foster her, and from that point on, I think fate was sealed.  She wasn't a foster for very long.
Penny is not Rosie and we don’t expect her to
be, but she has managed to fill some of that hound-shaped hole in my
heart.  She gets to the same part of my
soul that Rosie occupied while she was alive. 
I know that Rosie is within Penny Rose and she sent her to us. She's the closest thing to being a basset, without being a basset.  Having Penny Rose is helping me make a little bit of sense
out of Rosie’s loss.  If we hadn’t lost
Rosie, there would not have been an opening in our home for little Penny.  Rosie would have wanted us to be able to help
little Penny Rose and provide her a loving home.


You see, Rosie came from a pet store.  At the time, I’d read that it is not wise to
buy a puppy from a pet store as they come from puppy mills, but the owner of
this particular store assured me that their puppies were not from mills.  In my naivete, I believed her.  It was later that I learned that no
responsible breeder would sell their puppies to a pet store.  If she didn’t come from a puppy mill, then
she came from an ignorant backyard breeder. 
We were lucky that such a good dog came out of a circumstance like that.  I will never take that chance again, nor will
I support backyard breeders or puppy millers again.


I’ve felt guilty about having bought her from a pet store
for a long time.  I’ve tried to help
rescues as much as I could, to begin making amends for my ignorant mistake, but
I never felt that it was enough.  This is
why it was so important, after Rosie went to the bridge, to adopt the next dog
from rescue.  It was a sort of “pay it
forward” action.  But believe me, it's
not felt like a sacrifice in any way, as Penny Rose is the best thing that’s
happened to our household since Rosie left.


So, in honor of Rosie’s birthday, I hope you will join me in
expressing gratitude for the past, letting go of our past mistakes while learning from them, living in the moment, and paying it forward
when the time is right to do so.  That's what Rosie would have wanted.
Anita SacreySky, Jaxx, Susie, and Penny Rose - aka "Rosie's Lucky Penny"

 		 	   		  
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