[Dailydrool] Miss Elphaba's great adventure or...

[Brenda Waldrop]

...how to scare 10 years off momslaves life in 30 minutes. OR the longest
thirty minutes of my life!

So, two months ago my landlady decided to sell the house we were living in.
As a result, we had to find a place to live.  Somewhere that would take me,
my 17 year old daughter, and two basset hounds, all the while ignoring a
bankruptsy and almost 60k in unpaid chemotherapy bills.

Well, we found an apartment complex, a pretty place in an iffy
neighborhood, who graciously allowed us to move in with only a 4k desposit

Now, Baxter spent the last three of his 12 basset years at the spacious
Daphneyland, and Elphaba grew to her six basset years with almost half an
acre of backyard.

Needless to say, stir crazy can't even remotely describe my bassets. Any
chance to run well... you can see where this is going.

This morning when I opened the door to grab the paper, not one but two
wriggly hounds darted between my legs and out the door. I literally threw
myself at the rearmost hound, Baxter, and manhandeled him back through the
door at the same time I was screaming for the teenager.

It's important to realize at this point that we're on the third floor of an
almost 400 apartment complex.  Picture a hotel, with internal hallways,
this is how our complex is set up.  So teenager and I are tearing through
unfamiliar halls, calling Elphaba's name in that "come here I have steak in
my hands" voice mixed with pure panic. In ten minutes I'm completely lost,
I can't even find me, let alone Elphaba. I've run down and up at least six
stairwells, and I have no idea where the teenager is.

Then I see it, the gate to let cars into the garage, with a good foot and a
half clearence underneath, she wouldn't even need to duck to get out.

Now twenty minutes has passed, and my voice screamingher name has gone up a
few octives, and if someone had had a camera of me running for twenty
minutes they could easily have won America's Funniest Home Videos!

So I go screaming around a corner and almost broadside a gardener.  I'm
screaming, and crying, and wearing my PJ's, and the gardener says, "who are
you looking for?"

My basset hound I scream (blank look), my dog!

Oh, he says, there's a loose dog in the parking garage. I scream thank you
over my shoulder as I aim for the nearest staiwell I can see.  I tear down
the stairs, calling for Elphaba like I really am holding a steak, and
there, running at me like her long lost steak, ears flying at top speed, is
Elphaba running straight at me.

I literally (and quite unnessisarily) throw my two hundred pounds around
fifty pounds of basset and hold on for dear life. One minor problem, I have
no idea where I am!  So here I am, sitting on the grease covered floor of a
huge parking garage, holding on for dear life to a basset who apparently is
quite proud of her adventure, and just wants to lick my face, and I have no
idea how to get home!

As the only piece of pure luck in this story, my cell phone is in my back
pocket. So, I throw said three hundred dollar phone on the concrete, thank
every diety I know that I have the teenager on speed dial, and call for
help.

Long story short (rotflol), teenager locates us, and leads her highness and
myself back home.  Yep, those last ten years of life suck anyway, who needs
em?

Brenda- momslave to Baxter(man I missed all the fun) and Elphaba (the great
escape artist)
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