[Dailydrool] My Rosie is gone

[SusanWoodward]

Dearest Carol,
I know your hurt all so well....almost feels like you can't breathe it hurts
so badly.
Take solace in the fact that Rosie was so happy and so loved with you. At
the end you also gave her dignity and you stood by her.
I believe they are little furry angels and have been called back and right
now she is begging for a treat at God's feet or snoozing in his lap. She
will be waiting for you and you WILL meet again to walk over the Bridge
together.
Please know you have my deepest sympathies.

Susan & critters

-----Original Message-----
From: Carol Gazzara [mailto:carolgazzara at hotmail.com] 
Sent: Wednesday, March 26, 2014 9:48 AM
To: Daily Drool
Subject: [Dailydrool] My Rosie is gone

To my Fellow Droolers,

Although I haven't written in a while, I do keep on eye on you all.

Rosie left us last night.  I didn't tell you but Rosie developed a "growth"
under her rib cage on her left side between her ribs, liver and stomach.  My
Vet said he was 99% sure it was not cancer and it truly didn't seem to
bother her.  I would message it every morning as I wanted to know that it
didn't bother her. My Vet said although he would not operate, he would send
us to a Surgeon who could but he warned us that the surgery would be a tough
one with a painful recovery period.  

Rosie was 10 1/2 years old and I asked him what he would do if it was his
dog and he said "I'd leave it alone until it did bother her, then I'd let
her go".  He told me that I was bothering me more than it was her.

Well, last night Rosie ate dinner and asked to go out to the yard.  I saw
her eat some grass and said "what r you doing", then she began to walk/pace
the yard at a speed she rarely walks and she was retching and bringing up
white foam.  I ran out to check her with my first though being Bloat -
something I always read about on the Drool but Rosie never had.  I felt her
stomach and it wasn't hard or distended but she moaned a bit.  I knew
something wasn't right.  We took her to an Emergency Vet (our old Vet
actually) and they took x-rays and said it was Gastric Torsion (Bloat) and
they believed the mass contributed to it and although surgery was an option
they fear the mass would complicate things.  She was in pain and I promised
myself I would never let her suffer so we decided to not put her thru any
surgery that had an iffy outcome.  This Vet felt the mass WAS cancer and
aggressive.  

Of course we stayed with her till then end and I held her and told her I
loved her and I was so very sorry and I cried like I never cried before.  We
had to leave her there and that bothers me so much as I wanted to take her
home to bury her but we decided as a family to have her cremated privately. 
It is killing me to know she is alone in a strange place right now.

They say it will be about 14 days till I can pick up her ashes and I can't
understand why it is such a long time.  I also want to get her a beautiful
urn and thought my Droolers would help me to find one.

It hurts so much and I can't stop crying.  I will NEVER do this again, I
can't go thru this again. I now truly understand the hurt so many of you
have written of.

Carol - Mom to the sweetest dog in my world...