[Dailydrool] Chomper reports

[Dale Rutz]

Hello from Chomper,
I have been reading the drool and I have reached the conclusion, based on what I've read, that the hoomans who live here in this house are all CLUELESS.  All of them.  They try to tell me what to do, they assault me with water and nail trimmers and something called a furminator which pulls my hair, they allow strangers to enter our home, they themselves leave our home without me (sometimes for days at a time) and they sometimes refuse to share their snacks.
It's HORRIBLE.
I have tried to correct their errant behavior but to no avail.  I've tried whining, barking, even stealing when they eat but they don't improve, they only get aggravated and tell me to stop it.  I've tried dashing out the door when they try to leave but I am hunted down and brought back home by the collar.  I've tried nipping them, but they pout and tell me that isn't allowed.  I've tried hounding strangers who come to visit, but they respond horribly ("he's sooooooooo cute OMG" ..... I'm not cute I'm vicious, but no one notices).
If anyone has any ideas on how to train the clueless I'm all ears.  Literally.
Goodbye from Chomper who can't seem to teach the clueless anything.
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