[Dailydrool] NICK'S ADVENTURES - ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS A GAS MASK

[sandi at redbaybassets.com]

Hi Everybody --- Nick Here!

 

Does anybody have a direct line to Santa Claus?  I have decided what I want
for my Christmas Birthday ... I want a gas mask!!  Actually I NEED a gas
mask.  

 

You see (and I smell) .... my Cousin Morey, who sleeps in a crate beside me,
has SBD (silent but deadly) farts!  I mean these farts are awesome!  Even
though mom gives Morey his Di-gel with every meal, he still is rather
odiferous!   I have seen mom and Granny Pat drive down the expressway at 95
miles an hour, with the temperature at -879870 degrees and a wind chill
factor of -77018757107 with the windows OPEN ... all to avoid being
asphyxiated by Morey's farts. Morey can clear a room in a nanosecond!

 

Now most of the time, I simply turn the other way and escape the toxic
fumes.  But since the weather is getting colder, Dad has put up our storm
windows so we don't have a fresh air breeze on our sunporch.  Mom has put
our specially made crate cover on all six of our crates ... yep it is one
BIG crate cover.  When we go to bed, mom drops the front of the cover and
zips it up so we don't get a draft on us.  While I appreciate all of this
.... if Morey farts it is AWFUL!!!  My eyes water, I sneeze, my lips turn
blue from holding my breath (and I am NOT a blue basset) and my toenails
curl!!!  I think my only hope is to have Santa bring me a Gas Mask!!!  

 

So ... if anybody knows Santa on a first name basis, has his 800 number (or
even his 900 number) or his e-mail address ..... PLEASE let me know!  I
really need to talk to him!

 

Slurps,

Nick

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