[Dailydrool] I Am Being Starved! Some one Come Save Me! And Other News

[Jennifer Martin]

Browyn the Fairy Princess here. First and foremost, I am being starved. The
mom has cut back the vittles to starvation levels. She thinks I am fat! I
beg to differ. I still have a waist! My belly doesn't drag on the ground.
Mom says that those are not to only indicators of being a porky piglet. She
says I am so fat, I am square over the top instead of round. I have only
gained about 3.5 pounds. My mom likes her babies on the thinner side. She
says it keeps us from having as much trouble with arthritis. I have always
had one foot that kicks out to the side. As I am getting more majestic
with age, that foot is turning out more and the other foot is heading out
as well. Mom says that is proof that I need to watch my weight. I am
willing to look at my weight when I am on the scale. I think she really
means something else. A ll I know is that I used to get 3/4 of a cup of
food morning and night, although in the evening it is a bit scant. Now I am
only getting 1/2 cup in the morning and 1/3 cup at night and about 2
tablespoons of wet food for each meal. She and the vetman switched me to
this icky K/D diet. It isn't as great as my HP food. So mom and the vet man
did some research and figured out that I probably can eat chicken. All
these years I have been denied chicken because the boys were allergic! The
horrors! I adore chicken, but it isn't the same in the k/d crap. Anyway,
the vet man said there is this canned food called c/d. It is supposed to
help keep my bladder crystals stay away. So is the k/d, but it isn't as
good at it. Anyway, this food is to die for! It is a yummy chicken stew
with rice and peas and carrots with the chicken. She is trying to trick me
into thinking I am not eating reduced rations. Like I can be tricked that
easily! Now I will get to the important part of this tirade. Please send
treats! I am starving! Send them to me directly, not to the mom or she will
dole them out into miniscule servings.

So, here is the other news. The mom got me a BarkBox subscription for
Christmas, and they were not quite sending stuff I would like, So, the mom
chatted with them. She wanted me to get the occasional chew toy, but it
can't have natural rubber. The mom is airborne allergic to latex. THey were
trying to say that if they sent me something with latex, we could send it
back. They had switched to email since they had to search and find out if
the rubber had latI got on the computer and tried to explain that they
could NOT send a box with latex and send my mom to the hospital. She may
have me on a diet, but she dishes out more food than the dad! Then they
were asking if I would like different types of toys. So, I had to email
them like 5 times to get it all worked out. They thought it was really cool
that I signed everything Browyn the Fairy Princess. I am not sure what the
big deal is. I AM a fairy princess. They said they don't have any other
Fairy Princesses receiving boxes and could they change my subscription to
say Browyn the Fairy Princess. I said okay. They really are fun to work
with and if you contact them, they will customize your box. They are now
sending me toys with extra durable stitching. No balls, no tugs. I have
never seen the point of balls and chasing them so the human can throw them
away. I don't have my brothers to play tug with any more. It makes me very
sad when my dad tries to play tug and I  won't do it. I don't want a tug
sitting around the house waiting to be played with by me and a dead
brother. Not going to do it. I was going to write about how to brush teeth,
but I have rambled long enough. The mom hasn't forgotten she needs to do
that. She has just been swamped with doctor's visits and trying to get the
garden planted. I don't like the doctor visits. I do like when she works in
the garden. I play in the yard and check in with her. Sometimes she finds
something to give to me as a snack like radishes, collard greens, etc. She
thinks those should take the place of my duck bites or salmon bites.
Seriously, she is deranged!

Browyn the Fairy Princess with the mom, Jennifer
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